Friday, January 29, 2010

Filter

Good early morning!

Call me neurotic, but I HATE being behind! I had a girlfriend say, "Better late than never." And part of me thought, "YEAH BUT even better if ON TIME!!" (Did you like the yabbit?? See, I can't even let myself of the hook!! Haaa!)

I'm prepping my heart for Titus 2 this morning, which I must say is a total blessing in my life. Not because it's a perfect Bible study, or the only Bible study, but because I can take what I hear and apply it immediately to my heart, my mind, my marriage, and my life. There are seasons in your life when you need this. You know those seasons where you're a hour-to-hour survival "case." That would be me!

I also love early mornings...a time to jump start the day...all to set the tone for my heart and mind.

Proverbs 29:11 "A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back."

Fool vs. the Wise

My favorite verses in Proverbs are the ones that clearly state fool vs. wise. Depending on the day, my mood, time of the month, how much my kids have beat me down (in the figurative sense, of course!), the amount of cash sits in my wallet, if my hair worked right, if Cliff noticed the hair working right, well, then, I can easily fall on either side of this proverb. Don't you think??

If only we were ALL fool or ALL wise! Don't you think it would be easier?

But it's not cut and dry like that. The truth is the majority of the time we're foolish, while achieving those moments of great wisdom. As we continue our walk with Him, placing Him at the helm of our ship, we gain small wise victories, which is only achieved by actually APPLYING His Word to our hearts and minds...and then exhibiting immense self-control.

Here's the difference:

Fool (Hebrew: keclyl): stupid fellow (I'll insert "girl"), dullard, simpleton, arrogant one.

Wise (Hebrew: chakam): skillful, learned, shrewd, prudent

So which side of the fence do you fall on most of the time?

Let's take a quick personal inventory. Just for a minut. Don't try to justify or excuse your behavior or thinking. Block out your hubby, kiddos, past, emotions...and just concentrate on you for a moment.

Pretend you are a stranger to your home standing in your living room watching yourself "playing" the role of the wife. You have no knowledge of the emotions and circumstances that fuel the wife's actions or words. You have no knowledge of the past events that may cause this craziness. You only see the wife's actions and hear her words.

What is your opinion of her? (Be honest with yourself, because it is in honesty that change can begin. It goes back to yesterday's devotional: step one is admission.)

What does her behavior say about her heart/character? (What assumptions would you make about her character based on her actions/words?)

What would you advise her if you could interact with her? (We all know it is MUCH easier to give advice to our friends...so why don't you see yourself as a friend?)

Oh, I know. I'm hurting too! Some days are great...some weeks are great...and then something goes snap, and I fall at great speed on the other side of the fence. With one leap I land on the foolish side...and again, it doesn't take much to get there.

Vent vs. Filter

In verse 11, I totally understand what the fool is doing: "A fool gives full vent to anger...(NLT)" or "A fool uttereth all his mind; (KJV)"

Bottom line: this fool lacks a filter between the her brain and her mouth.

The Hebrew root to "mind" is ruwach and literally means "breath of mouth; spirit; temper; anger; impatience; unaccountable or uncontrollable impulse."

Nothing is left unsaid. You think it, you say it. Maybe not at the moment, but it does come out regardless of the consequences. The only positive is the immediate relief that comes from unleashing those thoughts on someone else, which them pushes the responsibility of HOW they react to your words on them. It's then not our words that causes issues, it's THEIR reactions. And so the blame shifting begins.

True confession is that we all lose it. We all "vent" at some point. But the fool gives FULL vent and utters ALL his mind. Nothing is off limit. If he breathes, then he says. Imagine living with a person like that. Imagine raising a child like that (and no, this is not known as the teenage years!!). Imagine going through life like that. What destruction would occur? What relationships would we damage?

I venture to guess we'd be lonely, bitter old ladies after alienating every person in our life by our words and BEING alienated by other people's words, for you know eventually they'll start telling you what they think. It takes "Mean Girls" to a whole other level.

Proverbs 10:14 "Wise people store up knowledge, But the mouth of the foolish is near destruction."

Ecclesiastes 10:12 "The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious, But the lips of a fool shall swallow him up."

Swallow whole. Destruction. Ladies, it's not much clearer than this!

So for today, put this Proverb at the forefront of your mind. When your brain starts spinning arguments, criticisms, frustrations, take a deep breath, analyze the scenarios as the stranger standing in your living room, decide which side of the fence you will stand on, edit your thoughts (which will automatically edit your words), and quick write 5 blessings that happened to you TODAY! This will drastically change your focus from the chaos that you're ready to give in to, and turn it to His love and provision for you on an hourly basis!!

For a wise woman "quietly holds it back."

Lots of love! Here's to an amazing day filled with His glories!

R

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Uncover

Good Afternoon, my Friends!

Happy happy weekend to you!

I'm so excited to be sitting in a clean house, with my hubby sound asleep in the next room after pulling an all-nighter, my kids watching "Up", and my heart at rest. It's not often that we ladies actually put aside all the commotion and circumstances swirling around in our every day lives, to just sit and rest in His grace and mercy. But I love Psalm 46:10a "Be still and know that I am God." For in the stillness, when all the world is shut out, we do KNOW that He is God. It's in the chaos of the world that we lose that focus and the power of that truth.

Proverbs 28...

13 People who conceal (cover) their sins will not prosper,
but if they confess and turn from (forsake) them, they will receive mercy.

When I was reading this, I felt as though I had fallen into a hole I had dug for myself. "People who conceal their sins will not prosper..." Yowza! So, true confessions, this is totally me for most of the time...and as of late, I'm working on this huge!

So, take a deep breath and dive with me into the yuckiness of our pride and ego, and prepare to be challenged. For I don't know one woman who does not not struggle with this.

To conceal...to cover...to hide...(Hebrew verb: kacah). To try to erase something that should never have been in the first place. Isn't that what we convince ourselves as we're trying to cover our tracks??

Why do we tend to cover something we have done?

The root for most excuses is pride. It is that pride that as a result hinders how we see the world, how we see our relationships, how we see our hearts (Mark 7:21-23 "For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, and evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within and defile a man."), and how we see our God (Psalm 10:4 "The wicked in his proud countenance does not see God; God is in none of his thoughts.").

Let me say up front, that we may think we've covered our sins; but the truth is always discovered, no matter the time line, by those closest to us.

But more importantly, the Lord knows everything...every flit that goes through your mind, to every deed of your hand. He knows and sees it all.

Psalm 139:1-7 "Oh Lord, You have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away. You chart the path ahead of me and tell me where to stop and rest. Every moment You know where I am. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord. You both precede and follow me. You place Your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know! I can never escape from Your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence."

Here are some ways we may try and "cover" our sins...

1. Denial. Deception. For many this begins as a mind-game we play, not only with the people we're in relationship with, but ourselves. Denial is achieved through lying, whether out-right or by omission. For example, when Peter denied Christ three times before Christ's crucifixion. Scared, lonely, confused, Peter only proved Jesus right when he predicted Peter would deny him. (Matthew 27:69-75)

Think back to the last time you denied the truth (and that does include the whole truth and nothing but the truth) and the web you had to weave because you didn't just admit it in the first place. For once you tell one lie, you have to tell another to make the first one believable and to keep your lie from being uncovered. The more times we tell the lie, we actually rewrite reality in our own heads; and we actually start believing the lie is the truth. And on and on it goes, and forever you will live a life of lies. Where's the truth in that?

2. Justify. Excuse. Shift Blame. I think this is what we're famous for as women...our "yabbits." A yabbit is a "Yeah, but" said really fast, and mamas, we can spit those out like rapid fire. We've got a yabbit for every sin. Plain old cause and effect. For our sin is the effect; well then, what's the cause? And we find it, because we're on a mission to save our pride. You don't have to look farther than Eve (Gen. 3:1-13) to realize, somehow, we women don't fall far from that tree. Eve said, "The snake made me do it." Our kids may say, "My sister hit me first." We may say, "My hubby was mean first." And it goes on and on, and the excuses can potentially go on forever. But where's truth in a life full of excuses?

3. Naivete. When a person lacks wisdom, then sin invades undetected. There is no real foundation on which to base right and wrong for this person; and these people don't even know they've sinned. We see examples of these people all over Proverbs, known as the Fools...and we see examples all over history and our society. These are the people who fall deep into a hole and then wonder how they ever got there.

Think about Zacchaeus (Luke 19:1-10) up the tree. He didn't know right from wrong. His influence was the Roman government and the greed that surrounded his position. And yet, despite his lack of wisdom, somehow he was still compelled to climb a sycamore, look like a fool, to hopefully catch a glimpse of Christ.

We may not fall under this category, but someone in our lives might be struggling with this. More importantly, we know our kids fall under this category. This is why we must teach them wisdom (and more impactfully, model it for them). For a life lead by unwise actions, then create unwise reactions, and on and on it goes, potentially lasting forever. But where's His truth in an unwise life?
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As a result of our "covering", we most likely experience the following in ourselves and therefore impact our relationships with our spouse. Notice the building of scenarios.

-Guilt: Because we know what we did was wrong, we then look for redemption through other means other than admitting the truth. May be super sweet, fix favorite meals, etc. Also, the guilt may trickle into remorse and self-loathing, which then turns into self-anger...and left undone, that anger is then turned on those closest to you.

-Tension: Having an underlying sense of uncertainty in your home, where you are the only one who knows the root. Your spouse remains clueless, except that you are distant. Not dealt with, this tension very quickly turns into irritation.

-Irritation: The whole point is to focus on the little things in your hubby's behavior that bug you. This gives you "permission" to act out some of that tension you've been harboring for yourself, most likely passive-aggressively (sighs, body language, eye rolls, purposeful thoughtlessness). The reason tension easily leads into irritation is that we must attack first before your hubby attacks you. Deflection is the name of the game.

-Aggressive Anger: If your hubby hasn't cornered you yet on what is bothering you, aggressive anger will always get his attention. This is the visible, audible "I'm angry and not trying to control or hide it" stage of covering sins. Destruction is the point of this. The truth is that your spirit is destroyed on the inside, so why not destroy everything good on the outside.

All of these lead AWAY from prosperity...and instead lead STRAIGHT to misery.

So, my girls...what to take from this, other than a cold hard look of the inner workings of our heart, is this: (Assume the injured person is your hubby.)

1. Admit to yourself you were wrong. Own it. We want to own all the good in our life. But with the good, also comes with owning the bad.

2. Confess to the Lord and then to your spouse you wronged. Do it with a heart of contrition, honesty, and remorse. It's okay to allow yourself to be broken over something. It's actually vital because it is part of the growing process.

3. Ask for forgiveness from the Lord and from your dear hubby. I think this is a major step that society overlooks (and that as moms we should be teaching our kiddos to do). To ask for forgiveness, gives the "victim' the right to respond to the apology and to embrace the "aggressor" after all is done. Forgiveness allows for complete healing.

4. RECEIVE forgiveness. For many of us, this is a process of being broken and when our actions affect those we love, quite often, we don't forgive ourselves. But we must, for He has forgiven us, and our hubby has forgiven as well. Do not negate their forgiveness.
This is possibly the greatest gift you could give the relationship: the ability to start with a fresh slate.

5. Analyze the root issue for why you did what you did. For a lesson not learned from is a big waste of time. Right? It's like watching your kiddos make the same mistake over and over and you telling them, "How many times do I have to tell you this?" I wonder how many times the Lord things that of us?

6. Finally, make the necessary adjustment in your heart, your mind, and your actions, that will allow you to choose correctly in the future. Lesson learned. Wouldn't this be an amazing victory??

Check out Psalm 32:1-11, a Psalm written by David after he had the affair with Bathsheba and had her hubby Uriah conveniently "whaked" so David could marry her (and you thought the Bible was devoid of drama!!). But this Psalm is all about the joy experienced after being forgiven by the Lord. Amen!!

Ladies...I write this from a humble heart that has been there, done that in all of these ways! We are here together: loving one another, loving our families, loving our kiddos, and loving our God!

Have an amazing evening!!

With love and utter respect-

R

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Be Light

To My Favorite Girls in the Whole World:

As I read Proverbs 27, there were so many amazing nuggets to grab hold of and apply to our lives, but I want to go somewhere easy. Easy on the eyes, easy on the heart, and easy on the soul.

We have been working so hard in the past month on making over our hearts and minds, that sometimes we lose track of the awesomeness of being in a community of believing women. And then I read Proverbs 27:9!

9 The heartfelt counsel of a friend
is as sweet as perfume and incense.
I love the sweetness of this verse...not only literal sweetness, but the sweetness of an amazing friend. You know, those friends who are going to come alongside you, cry with you, hold your hand, give you unbelievable advice, and then let you know that they've been there too!

Our hubbies are amazing in their own rights! But I don't know one wife out there that treats her man like a girlfriend. If Cliff were to listen to all my wonders, thoughts, bumps in the road, and funny girl stories, he would probably run far far away! (And my hubby is a very patient man when it comes to listening to me.)

And God, in His infinite wisdom and knowledge of the differences between men and women, has provided women around each one of us, not only to love on us, but to be that faithful friend who is not afraid to instruct IN love. And that's what makes it sweet.

For, He continues in Proverbs 27:17

17 As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.

We are in a community to grow one another, push one another to become better moms, wives, friends, and followers of Christ. Iron sharpening iron is NOT easy, nor free from hurt; but in the end, the smooth surface that comes from it is so worth it.

And notice, that it's not one iron sharpening another...they're both being sharpened at the same time, even if you aren't aware!

A woman cannot survive alone. We thrive on relationships with those around us. We understand the world through relationships. We develop opinions, character, thoughts, faith through the people around us (not always good people, but people none-the-less). And we are living on earth what our relationship should be with our heavenly Father.

We are designed to be in relationship with Him, all the time, every day, in all circumstances. We are to turn to Him in good and bad, joys and sorrows, sickness and health, richer or poorer...for He is our sustainer. And it is those good friends who will remind us of that!

Today take a moment to send one friend (whether Christian or non-Christian) who you haven't been in contact with recently, a note of gratitude and encouragement. Whether a text message, email, or Facebook message, take the time to encourage another girl in her life's journey.

For this is God's calling for each of us...to go into all the world and be His light.

Here's to being that sweet aroma to one another!

In His love and grace:

Rebecca

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Baby Steps

Dear Mama Friends...

I must apologize first off for this being two days late. I sat to write this, got half way through, and had a complete mental block. Ugh! So I'm picking off where my brain left off...so just pretend it's Tuesday! It will do my guilt wonders! HEEE!!

************************************

I am sitting in the house, Cliff and Keegan out running errands, and Makena taking a nap, and yet I can't get my thoughts to steady. It might by General Hospital playing in the background (let's call it a guilty distraction), or the fact that my refrigerator fan is broken and creating its own jackhammer noise. I am practicing instant gratitude while secretly dreading the next two days waiting for the part to come in!! Oh, mama! I might be crazy by Thursday morning! :)

I woke up this morning with this amazing feeling that God is so in control of absolutely everything...and He places those people around us that we need every day. I am humbled and honored to not only call you my friends, but to call you my sisters-in-Christ. Please know I know nothing more than you. I have no secrets. I have no special formulas. I only have the Lord...and an amazing group of women who stand together with me for His cause. Hugs!!

Proverbs 26...

v. 13 The lazy person is full of excuses, saying, "I can't go outside because there might be a lion on the road! Yes, I'm sure there's a lion out there!"

Now, before you jump to "wait, I'm not lazy...have you seen my daily schedule? The fact is I don't have time to sit, let alone shower", I promise this will all make sense. Hang in there with me. For wisdom sometimes comes when you drop your defensive walls, open your heart and eyes, and unpack a verse one sentence at a time.

And let me reassure you, I so get it! From 6am to midnight, it is non-stop in my world; probably the most "still" I get is blowing dry my hair, standing in my tiny shower, or indulging in my tivo'ed shows. (This means I can condense a 60 minute show to 20 minutes! Try watching The Bachelor on DVR speed! It's actually tolerable!)

So, instead of focusing on the “lazy” qualification, I want us to look at the excuses this “lazy” girl uses.

**For the sake of this email, I’m going to assume the lazy person’s a girl. It will help us to identify…promise!

First I love that she’s having a conversation with herself. Do you notice nobody else is around to give her a reality check? Do you notice that she's not even seeking a reality check? She doesn't care what is truth. For the reality in her mind will ultimately justify her inaction and allow her to bypass what she's called to do in the first place.

When I read this, there was a part of me that chuckled at the ridiculous cowardice that consumes this lazy girl. From a third-person perspective (that always sees more clearly than if you were in the mix), I thought, “wait…you CAN'T because you THINK there MIGHT be a lion out there?? You don’t even KNOW???”

And that made me realize that fear is an amazing thing. Amazingly debilitating. It controls not only our actions, but it consumes our heart, squelches our faith, and takes away our need for a Savior. Fear gives permission for our personal shell to close up, so we can avoid all that ultimately might hurt us.

Let me take a bold stand and say, I believe that all laziness and general inaction is ultimately borne of fear. A fear of “what if.” A fear of failure. A fear of rejection. A fear of the unknown. A fear of loss. A fear of success. A fear of growth. A fear of discomfort. A fear of wasted effort.

The excuses we must come up with to justify the inaction must ultimately justify those fears so we don't sound like crazy girls stunted by our own wackiness. Ultimately we sabotage ourselves...and more importantly, our God.

Let me give you some examples:

My mother-in-law, who I love dearly, will never go to the doctor because she fears the news she might receive. So she hobbles around on a knee that needs replacing, which then restricts her interaction and activity with those around her.

My sister-in-law's friend has a 15-month-old child and has never left her "baby" once. EVER. She has turned down her hubby's invitation for dates, weekends away, time to go to the hairdresser. She doesn't shower, except to rinse off. And she has no relationship with anyone other than her baby. What fear is driving that? (And don't you want to run over to her house, take her under your wing, and then kidnap her for a weekend getaway??)

The old lady portrayed on the show Hoarders (yes, I watch it because it makes my house look AWESOME!!) is so afraid to give up her junk because it will leave her with an empty house and an empty heart. The fear of the future is more debilitating than the filth she resides in.

I have 9 unwritten books in my head and on index cards that I cart around with me in a pink accordion folder every where I go, but have not had the courage to write any of them down. Why? Because I fear failure. I don't like to do anything that I will not be good at. How stunting is that??

What is fear stopping you from doing today?

Take a moment to answer that. What would you do today if you had NO fear?

I love the second portion of this lazy girl's excuse...not only does she think there's a lion outside her door, but in one heart beat now she KNOWS!!!

One of Cliff's biggest complaints of me is that I make assumptions about nearly everything, especially when I'm in a quandary about life. I jump to conclusions, and those conclusions then dictate how I feel, act, and react.

Please tell me I'm not alone!

For this lazy girl isn't leaving her house to go anywhere because there IS a lion outside her door.

How foolish will she feel when someone comes to see her, and she asks how they got past the lion? Can you imagine the look on their face? "WHAT LION??"

We women easily take one thought and spin it into truth. Not only does that hurt our perspective on life, our potential, our relationships, but ultimately it is an affront on God and who He is.

For, ladies, what is faith?

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

2 Corinthians 5:7 "For we walk by faith, not by sight."

For our Lord IS faithful. He loved us before we loved Him. He has brought us through the fires and continues to do so because He is molding us for His use...His glory...His purpose. He is bigger than any fear we may have...bigger than that lion resting outside your door. And through Him, all things are possible.

So, what are you going to do today to step outside your comfort zone? What are you going to do that's out of your control? What dreams are you going to take a step towards? What thoughts do you need to take captive in order to achieve these things? Who are you going to tell so you create accountability? And what fear are you going to let go of?

Baby steps.

Lots of love ladies! Again, I am so grateful to you and for you...for your love, encouragement, friendship, and joy!

Rebecca

Monday, January 25, 2010

One Day at a Time

Hey girlies!

I hope you are well this bright, sunshiny day! :) I love the calm before the storm, at least when it comes to the weather! It always forces me to enjoy this day and to use to its full extent!

What an awesome week God has planned for us! I encourage you, as you go through the daily "grind" of being a mommy, a wife, a homemaker, an employee, a student, a friend, a taxicab driver, that you pause in those quiet moments and dwell on the blessings the Lord has provided for you.

How quickly our minds go to the negative: the overwhelming, the boring, the icky, the frustrating, the maddening things that seem to weigh heavily on our shoulders. And yet, when we put the effort forth to flip our thoughts and see things through His perspective, we ARE blessed!! Even in my squeaky car...with my larger-than-life rear...and not enough time in the day to feel on top of things...we are BLESSED!

If you doubt that, turn on Fox News and watch a few stories about Haiti...and allow yourself to take in the images in their raw hurt and chaotic desperation. For no matter, what we have or don't have...we are blessed. For our hearts rest in His peace and understanding. If you don't feel awesome now, give yourself an hour of good wrestling with the circumstances surrounding your life, lay down at His feet all your iniquities, and allow Jesus to take up your cross and carry it at least through this evening.

One day at a time, mamas! Just one day at a time. As Kim often says, "New mercies every morning...His mercies are new every morning..." and for that matter every hour, every minute that we choose to stop what we're doing, listen to His leading, and choose His path instead. Ladies, it all boils down to self-control...and that's where we're going today!

Proverbs 25:28

"A person without self-control is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls."

Sometimes when I watch reality tv (which is almost all my shows...I know, it's a sick addiction, but at least I haven't stooped down to Jersey Shore!!), you can see the results of the lack of self-control all over the place. On The Bachelor, the girls are so desperate to get the man they think they want, that they will behave in the most unabashed and ridiculous ways. On Tough Love, a dating show where the matchmaker tries to "fix" the girls with typical dating problems, the girls lack so much confidence in who they are that they become easily hurt, volatile, and succumb to random and idiotic (in my humble opinion) emotional outbursts. On the Real Housewives of Anywhere, the women all lose sight of the line between right and wrong, and what is truly important (like marriage and kids) and spend all their time trying to justify their unwise words and actions. And to wrap it up, on Celebrity Rehab, you can watch those who have truly lost complete control to substance abuse attempt to make sense of the craziness they have created for themselves. (Living with 30 birds and having no human contact for 60 days is NOT sane!!)

So, we might not be on a reality show, but if there was a film crew in your home, what craziness would we all see because of your lack of control? Last week, in my home, there would have been some great drama...all based on my lack of control. Seriously!

For self-control is what protects us from the constant onslaught of temptation. It is what keeps us contained, structured, and safe. Walls allow life to carry on as it should be within the city without worrying about what's going on on the outside. Walls were designed to keep the people in, while keeping the enemy out.

Think about The Lord of the Rings movies and the walls that surrounded each city: thick, layered, the first place where the enemy is spotted from, also the first place where the enemy attacks, rooted deep in the ground and extending high into the sky. It is the first line of defense, but it also defines who we are. The character and integrity of our strength is shown by the construction of that wall.

But when our self-control lacks, there becomes a hole, a weak spot by which we invite the angst of life to get a hold of our hearts. For inside our city wall lies our heart and soul.

In order to create a strong wall, you must lay a foundation. A foundation on which nothing will shake. And girls, that is the Word of the Lord. His words are our rock on which we can build a strong and sturdy wall. That is the wisdom and understanding that comes from a knowing relationship from the Lord. All we are is rooted in who He is.

As we understand more and more wisdom, we are able to discern right from wrong, temptation from desire, admission from justification. We are able to learn self-control, first, in our thoughts and intentions, which is the exhibited through self-control in our words and actions. It's an inward transformation which is then manifested outwardly in all we do. And that is where the strength of the walls lie...in the layer upon layer of Scripture we have applied to our hearts (see Friday's email) that then transform our behavior.

When we are at the center of our city with the walls as fortified as possible, we may be attacked, but the attack will have no bearing on our well-being. We are mildly shaken, but not toppled. We are concerned, but not lost. For we know we are protected by the One who has even defeated death. What can be lost?

Self-control, mamas. This next verse sums it up:

2 Peter 1:5-8 "So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better. Knowing God leads to self-control. Self-control leads to patient endurance, and patient endurance leads to godliness. Godliness leads to love for other Christians (brotherly love), and finally you will grow to have genuine love for everyone. The more you grow like this, the more you will become productive and useful in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."

We are on a journey. You must start somewhere. You must know that patience is required. And it is guaranteed that you will stumble and fall. But it is He who picks us back up, dusts us off, gives us a kiss, redirects or re-instructs us, and sends us on our way.

So today, bite your tongue just once. Maybe walk away before you say something out-of-control; or maybe put yourself in a time out; and while secluded, read a verse of two, confess your struggle to the Lord, ask for His strength, take one deep breath, and leave the room with the conviction of starting over. New mercies, girls. New mercies!

Love!!

Rebecca

Friday, January 22, 2010

The Foundation of Wisdom

Good Friday Morning Ladies!!

How excited are you that it's almost the weekend? Thrilled I can imagine! ;)

I kept my little chickadees home with me today, mostly for selfish reasons. And I was honestly just looking for a little quality time with the two of them before the chaos of the weekend ensues. I'm not one for homeschooling (I and/or my children would not survive the experience, quite literally), but I can definitely see the comfort in it.

Proverbs 22...

I actually prepped for v. 3,

3 A prudent person foresees danger and takes precautions.
The simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences.



but I'm now liking v. 17-18 for today.



If you look at the section of the Proverb that we're beginning to read through (and that will last through Proverbs 24:22), it's summarizes "Thirty Sayings of the Wise." I have to laugh, because I feel as though we've had days and days of wise sayings...but if Solomon was to boil it all down, well, here you go.



As for the format, the points are divided into paragraphs, and the great thing about these, is he includes some explanation behind each to further drive home his point. I, for one, love explanation because it reinforces the concept for me. Let's just say, my head is a little harder than others' and I need to hear it time and time again before it actually sinks in!



He kicks off the 30 wise points with v. 17 and 18.



17 Listen to the words of the wise;
apply your heart to my instruction.
18 For it is good to keep these sayings in your heart
and always ready on your lips.

So, my friends, I love these two verses because this is the foundation of wisdom. This is how wisdom goes from words on a page to changing lives.

On a side note, I would love to have these two verses hanging above my kitchen doors, tattooed on my forehead (backwards, of course, so I could read it when I looked in the mirror), and in big bold letters on the cover of my Bible. Personally, I think these two verses should be the general intro to Proverbs (not that the Bible is fallible, because it's not being God-breathed and all!) because without these two verses, then reading Proverbs, or anything else in the Bible, will do nothing for you except become another task on your checklist and a waste of your time.

This sounds harsh, but you have to ask yourself "why" you are reading your Bible. Why are you reading Proverbs? Are you reading to feel like a better Christian, or are you reading to transform your life? Are you reading so you can hold it above your hubby's head that you're more dedicated than he, or are you reading to better YOUR character and YOUR faith with our God? Are you reading because you always have and to skip would be to abandon a routine that seems to "work" some days, or are you reading so that you can wash yourself in His Word and glorify Him in your actions daily?

These are hard truths to face. I know I've done devotions blindly and remained unchanged. But if your heart is invested, the Lord can do anything!

Step One: LISTEN

How many of us listen? Really listen, not just hear? For listening is not the same as hearing. It's like hearing your kids talking...you hear them, but you are not tuned in to be comprehending what they're saying. So you hear, "blah, blah, blah." But if you listened you might hear, "I don't like you. Get out." And then you can tend to the issues. But things left unlistened to, become the seeds that all problems grow out from.

Have you ever been in a conversation with your hubby and he's telling you things he wishes you would do...and you tune out? Or you start writing a grocery list in your head? Or you start noticing all the things wrong with the room you're sitting in? Me too!

Have you ever read your Bible and then "wake up" two chapters later because your mind has wandered all over the place? Sometimes it reminds me of being in college and dutifully but "uninvestedly" reading my text books. And the reason I would justify tuning out was "I will never use this in real life because it has nothing to do with me."

Nice. Nice and self-centered. Nice and ignorant. Nice and naive. For to treat the Bible in the same fashion is ultimately to blasphemy His Word. Ouch. I know...it's Friday. I should probably go easy! But, over this weekend, I really want you to look at your intentions. What are your motives? For if they're not genuine FOR YOU, then this is all for naught.

Step Two: TO THE WORDS OF THE WISE

"Be careful little ears what you hear....Be careful little ears what you hear...for the Father up above is looking down in love...Be careful little ears what you hear."

This is a song Makena sings in Awana and I love it. What are we listening to? Who are we listening to? Because what and who determines our outlook and understanding of life.

Are we listening to the Real Housewives of the O.C. where boobs, money, and bling equate happiness? Are we listening to Oprah and the Universe when it comes to finding peace? Are we listening to our non-Christian girlfriends when they say, "oh, no big deal; just leave him; you're better than him anyway?"

Who are we listening to???? And what are they saying????

And how do you know if what you hear is wise? You can always compare it to Scripture. If throughout the Bible, what you're being told is supported, then it is wise. If is is contradictory to is, then it is not. It is very plain and simple.

Step Three: APPLY YOUR HEART TO MY INSTRUCTION

Apply...think of His instruction like facial cream for your heart. Lather it, smear it, layer it in a thick coat all over your heart. For your heart affects how you see reality and therefore how you interact with others. The goal is to see reality and your life as clearly as God sees it. For only then is wisdom possible.

You have to transform your heart, because if you only alter your behavior, it will only be temporary. It will only last for a week or two. Instead, you have to change the root of your being in order for the change to be lasting.

We are so on our way, girls! We may be wrestling with things in our own lives in individual circumstances that cause us to doubt, waver, and at times choose our own paths. But we are in pursuit of Him! And this will never go unnoticed by our heavenly Father!

For He is after us with a vengeance. He loves us, more than you love your little chickadees. He wants to protect us, more than we want to save our kiddos. And He has given His Son to cover our sins...the greatest gift ever. At times the goodness of God and His sacrifice for my life is completely incomprehensible to me! I stand in awe!

So, girls, sorry for this not being so light! I didn't even tackle v.18 for this was heavy!

I love you...am so grateful for this journey we are on together...and stand in awe of His wisdom as we grow!

Have a great weekend!

Rebecca

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Your Turn

To my Favorite People in the Whole World!

I wanted to take a break hearing from me for a day. And instead, wanted to hear from you.

I've pasted the entire Proverb 21 below, and ask that you forward it back to me with comments underneath a verse or two that stuck out to you.

I'll compile our insight collectively, make all contributions anonymous, and we'll see how we, as sisters in Christ, are learning and growing in His Word!

Can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Love!! Rebecca

************************************
Proverbs 21
1 The king's heart is like a stream of water directed by the Lord ;
he guides it wherever he pleases.

2 People may be right in their own eyes,
but the Lord examines their heart.

3 The Lord is more pleased when we do what is right and just
than when we offer him sacrifices.

4 Haughty eyes, a proud heart,
and evil actions are all sin.

5 Good planning and hard work lead to prosperity,
but hasty shortcuts lead to poverty.

6 Wealth created by a lying tongue
is a vanishing mist and a deadly trap.s

7 The violence of the wicked sweeps them away,
because they refuse to do what is just.

8 The guilty walk a crooked path;
the innocent travel a straight road.

9 It's better to live alone in the corner of an attic
than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.

10 Evil people desire evil;
their neighbors get no mercy from them.

11 If you punish a mocker, the simpleminded become wise;
if you instruct the wise, they will be all the wiser.

12 The Righteous Ones knows what is going on in the homes of the wicked;
he will bring disaster on them.

13 Those who shut their ears to the cries of the poor
will be ignored in their own time of need.

14 A secret gift calms anger;
a bribe under the table pacifies fury.

15 Justice is a joy to the godly,
but it terrifies evildoers.

16 The person who strays from common sense
will end up in the company of the dead.

17 Those who love pleasure become poor;
those who love wine and luxury will never be rich.

18 The wicked are punished in place of the godly,
and traitors in place of the honest.

19 It's better to live alone in the desert
than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.

20 The wise have wealth and luxury,
but fools spend whatever they get.

21 Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love
will find life, righteousness, and honor.

22 The wise conquer the city of the strong
and level the fortress in which they trust.

23 Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut,
and you will stay out of trouble.

24 Mockers are proud and haughty;
they act with boundless arrogance.

25 Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin,
for their hands refuse to work.

26 Some people are always greedy for more,
but the godly love to give!

27 The sacrifice of an evil person is detestable,
especially when it is offered with wrong motives.

28 A false witness will be cut off,
but a credible witness will be allowed to speak.

29 The wicked bluff their way through,
but the virtuous think before they act.

30 No human wisdom or understanding or plan
can stand against the Lord .

31 The horse is prepared for the day of battle,
but the victory belongs to the Lord .

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Director of Our Steps

Good Morning girls!!

I thought I should start with this particular verse this morning, since yesterday morning did not go as planned for me...and you did not receive this email as I had intended! :) Let's just say being sick does not have its benefits!

So let me dive right in...Proverbs 20:24

24 The Lord directs our steps,
so why try to understand everything along the way?

Honestly, girls, whose path are we choosing each and every day?

Are we forcing our own way? Or are we actually putting our trust in Him hour by hour and allowing Him to lead, guide, direct our actions, words, and thoughts, ultimately for His glory?

Answer these questions to find out:

1. Do you turn off your God sensor in the heat of the moment?
2. Do you assume you know what God is doing when He seems to allow fires in our lives?
3. Do you sit and try to figure out His rhyme and reason for allowing things to happen?
4. Do you get so caught up with getting answers that when you don't get them, you are paralyzed in thought and in faith (like a scratched CD skipping the same note over and over and you can't get past it)?
5. Do you demand to know what it all means and when you don't, you become combative, irritated, annoyed, angry and then take it out on the person that is involved in the situation with you?
6. After the fact, do you look back and see the needlessness of the chaos you just created for yourself?
7. Have you ever felt the desperateness of trying to figure things out and in order to do so try to fit the situation into the scenario in your head, knowing in your heart that your probably wrong??

I know! Me too!!

Let's just say, that since writing these thoughts on Proverbs, my brain has been forced to wrap itself around the root spiritual issues that do not come easy. And the root of this Proverb is trust. Trust in a God who knows best. Trust in a God who has your best interests at heart and who want to bless you mightily! Trust in God's plan for your life, whether you get it or not!

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Seek His will in all your ways and He will direct your path."

From a human perspective, trust is not easy. It does not come naturally to most of us. Especially if the people around us on earth have failed us in the past. (And if they haven't yet, well, they're bound to in the future. Right?) And when we DON'T understand the why of what is happening, that makes trust almost an impossible thing because humanly we can't make sense of the situation.

But the Lord is so different, for He cares for us inside and out, from the minute to the grandiose. He will not let us down or let us go. He is beside us no matter what. And nothing will separate us from His love.

One of my favorite Psalms is 139:1-24. If you ever doubt God's investment in YOU, just read this!

Psalm 37:23-24 "The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand."

For God knows all things throughout the continuum of time and space...the past and the future are one story line to Him, with no gaps, no breaks, no unanswered questions, or undone deeds. We all play a role in His story ("His story = history"...I know you've heard that before, but the 6th grade history teacher in me just came out with a vengeance) and it is He who is directing our path, whether we acknowledge it or not. (I will say, things seem to get a little easier when we surrender our will to His...and fires that we must walk through will refine us, but not burn us.)

Today, just today, see if you can give up that whirring in your brain that has to make everything "make sense" to YOU. See if you can keep your mind from jumping ahead a week, a month, a year, a decade...and instead live in the moment. See if you can love those in your path TODAY regardless of what they've done in the past or going to do in the future. And see if you can allow God, THE GOD who created the universe and who knows how many hairs you have on your head, to take the place as the HEAD of your life and the head of your heart.

Our God is greater than the pain, the questions, and the frustrations of this life. We don't need to know why or even how...all we need to know is that He uses all things for the good of those who love Him and live according to His purpose (paraphrased Romans 8:28).

This is my prayer for your heart today, as well as mine.

Love Mamas!! Enjoy this rain if you're in SoCal!

Rebecca

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

One Foot In Front Of The Other

To My Happy Happy Girls!

I so hope you had an amazing long, long weekend full of family time, romantic moments stolen with your hubby, and maybe just some time for yourself and your Lord! I hope you are refreshed and ready for the week!

To be quite honest with you, my weekend was rough. It was mainly rough because I am my own worst enemy. My hubby would be testimony to that. My expectations, my assumptions, and my interpretation of reality can be so twisted from the truth. And then all following events are based upon that second dimension and I might as well be living on another planet!

I found it quite ironic that this Proverb charted my path this weekend perfectly...

Step One:

3 People ruin their lives by their own foolishness
and then are angry at the Lord.

Oh, girls! Are we all right here at one moment or another? I will say that my own foolishness could have ruined a whole future. My foolishness tends to wrap around my wrong assumptions of what has happened in the past and my false expectations of what is to come. I could probably have an entire relationship with myself and all the thoughts that fly through my head. Wouldn't that be hilarious? Or tragically sad!

But take that craziness we can create for ourselves one step further, and instead of taking a good hard look at the reality we made on our own, we deny responsibility and blame it on the Lord. That blame can look like anger, indifference, or even stifling sadness... because we just don't take a good long look in the mirror.

I was forced to do so this weekend. To see myself through someone else's eyes (which definitely cuts down on the foolishness, as long as you are listening to their point-of-view with a open heart and mind), to acknowledge his honesty, and then to digest and act upon his observations. For consistent action is the true proof of a changed heart.

Step Two:

20 Get all the advice and instruction you can,
so you will be wise the rest of your life.

As this weekend kept going down, and I mean south...down...far from good, I turned to some trusted girlfriends who I knew would keep me grounded and hold me to the standards of the Lord. And it was those girls who posed the right questions and the right kind words, who kept me from my own foolishness.

Wisdom. Wisdom is all around us...and we have been given amazing girlfriends and mentors; we have been given spouses who care for our best and for our marriage's best; and we have the Lord, the King of all Wisdom, instructing us directly in very plain and clear terms what wisdom holds in store for us.

So, open up those hearts and minds to what is around you. For God is good..."get ALL the advice and instruction you CAN." Pretend your at an all-you-can-eat wisdom buffet and eat up mamas! It's calorie free, open 24 hours a day, and will leave you more filled to the depths of your soul than any other substitute in this life.

Step Three:

21 You can make many plans,
but the Lord 's purpose will prevail.

Here's the tale of how I knew that I remained in the palm of the Lord's hand, even if I was, and still am, unwise.

At church Sunday morning, the benediction was all about the Lord's peace...peace that surrounds a soul that only comes from Him. And that's when I shed my first set of tears. For the Lord was speaking directly to my heart of unrest.

I knew I needed to talk to my hubby and ultimately apologize to him, but didn't what to dive into it when the kids were home. Then stepped in my mom who called and asked if the kids could come over to "play" at their house. Let me just say that my parents have never once in 6 years ever asked for my kids to come over to their house unprovoked. So, that was God, undeniably.

Kids gone, Cliff and I talked. And I had to pray through the whole two hours. Pray that my ears were open, my heart was open, my mind was open (I kept silently repeating to myself over and over his key points to make sure I would remember them), and that I would keep my defensive walls down. I had to stop that part of my brain that immediately thinks of arguments to counteract each of Cliff's points. And that was only through His strength.

As the conversation was coming to an end, there were things that I wanted to hear from Cliff to set my heart at ease, but was sure he'd never say. I prayed and prayed and listened. And within the two hours, my hubby's heart was turned and all my concerns were washed away. If you don't know my man, well let me say he's 1/2 German and 1/2 Italian, and there is little that actually changes his mind once it's made. But God did. God did without him knowing. Because ladies, God changed me first.

The conversation ended well. The relationship was restored. We sat eating soup, when my mom called and said that Keegan wanted to spend the night at their house and had already packed his pillow, blanket, and stuffed animal in his bag without me knowing. So, the grandparents, who never ever have my kids over, now wanted to keep them OVERNIGHT...which gave Cliff and I a "stay-cation."

So, here's the deal...my plans were nothing compared to what God had in store. The "Lord's purposes will prevail." How awesome is that? Even working through my 6-year-old son, my 63-year-old mother, my two emailing-like-cray girlfriends, and my amazing hubby who loves me despite my foolishness. God is good.

Girls...one foot in front of the other no matter what the circumstances. Gird yourselves with the wisdom of His Word and the wisdom of those around you. Keep your hearts open to Him. Keep His Word at the forefront of your thoughts. And allow Him to guide you even though you may not be certain of the outcome, for He is amazing!

Love love love!! Here's to a great week!

If you're in town, Titus 2 tomorrow morning 9ish to 10:45, childcare provided at Grace Baptist...the most amazing (in my humble opinion) women's Bible study. It's on submission...so come to be challenge in the most personal and unbelievable way!

Rebecca :)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Pray, Obey, Repeat

Let me be the first to congratulate you on surviving the week and really putting the Lord first in your thoughts.

Five days, ladies, and to say I have not been challenged every day, would be a lie.

My intentions and my actions do NOT match, and I am working on self-control. Isn't that a fruit of the spirit?? Wouldn't it be lovely if my fruit tree actually grew self-control?! Haa! I am willing, the Lord is very willing. Let's just see if I can squash all the muck and reality that gets in the way of my willingness!

So thank you so much for going on this journey with me! If any of you have feedback, thoughts, ponderings, I'd love to hear them! Email, text, or call anytime!

One of my dearest friends in the whole world wrote me this yesterday, and I loved it. What I say in 10 paragraphs, she says in one!

"Rebecca – I saw a billboard yesterday that really spoke to my heart. It read, “your past may be stained but your future is spotless.” This gives me hope as I face a new day. I hold tight to a saying an old bible teacher said once, “Pray, obey, repeat”. These nuggets of truth are my inspiration. I am never going to be perfect. No matter what the mistakes I made yesterday or today, I have hope for a better tomorrow. "

Hope, girls! That's what it is all about. That is why we are doing this. Hope in a God who can make us better. Hope in He who is powerful enough to change our circumstances drastically, but wise enough to grow us through them. Hope that our lives will make a difference in those around us. And hope in the eternal life that awaits us with brilliance. Maybe that's why the saying goes, "Hope springs eternal."

Proverbs 15: The Tongue...

Yes, we're back to this topic after Proverbs 13. But I think, again, our words impact our world so much!

1 A gentle answer deflects anger,
but harsh words make tempers flare.

**My Study Bible just said, "Have you ever tried to argue in a whisper? It is equally hard to argue with someone who insists on answering gently. On the other hand, a rising voice and harsh words almost always trigger an angry response. To turn away wrath and seek peace, choose gentle words."

So true! To take it one step farther, why do we argue? Most of the time it's because we're trying to make our point known. But if we can't convey that point without bringing on a fight with our spouse, then we need to sit back and wait. Wait until that urge goes away and we can have self-control when discussing the issue.

2 The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing,
but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness.

**We have the ability to make His knowledge, His words appealing to others through the words WE choose. How's that for powerful? If we choose the right words, it draws others to want to know Him. I don't think we ever want to get in the way of that. And what if those others were our children?

4 Gentle words are a tree of life;
a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.

23 Everyone enjoys a fitting reply;
it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!

**And we know when we've actually done this. You can feel it all the way down to your soul. Why we don't do the all the time? I believe it all roots back to selfishness (included in that is pride, arrogance, overbearingness, control, even unbridled sadness for no comprehensive reason...just being sad for attention).

28 The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking;
the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

**Key word..."thinks." What mountains we would move if we just thought about what came out of our mouth and really examined those words closely? Seriously! Like an arrow to my heart!

In my study Bible it gives the following definition of the Four Tongues:

1. The Controlled Tongue: Those with this speech pattern thing before speaking, know when silence is best, and give wise advise.

2. The Caring Tongue: Those that speak truthfully while seeking to encourage.

3. The Conniving Tongue: Those that are filled with wrong motives, gossip, slander, and a desire to twist truth.

4. The Careless Tongue: These are filled with lies, curses, quick-tempered words, which can lead to rebellion and destruction.

This weekend think about which tongue you will enable as you deal particularly with your hubby and kiddos. I will do the same...

If there has been wrong done because of your words this week, then seek to resolve those issues before Sunday.

Remember, being "right" does not always lead to happiness, peace, or joy. My need to be right can destroy my home, my marriage, my relationships. Instead, seek to reconcile with your "person of interest" and put their interests higher than your own. This is a challenge for me because I definitely have some humble apologies to make to the ones I love. Too bad my words aren't always loving!

Much love mamas!!

Have a great weekend! "See" you Monday!

R

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Never Alone

Oh, My Lovely and Gracious, Honest and Godly Friends:

I love, love, love hearing from you! For your words bless my heart more than you know! The biggest lesson learned is that, as sisters in Christ, we are all fighting for the same thing for the same reason for the glory of Him who controls all things.

You are NOT alone. Not ever. For the One who created you surrounds you at all times, and the body of Christ does the same. We gather around one another, pray, and support in any way possible.

I've made the below contributions anonymous so you feel free to share anytime. Thanks Ladies for the quotes below!

Easier said than done...
Filter...
Restraint...
Breathe...
Filter...
This is me today...

This is a tough place for me. I am learning to EAT my words quickly. Shove them back down your mouth without uttering a sound. It does pay off. I have been quietly just accepting things he does or says without comment. Also trying not to give BODY LANGUAGE either. After one month of doing this and having watched Fireproof, I received a beautiful Christmas Card from him --- it really does work. Now just to keep it up !!

I really needed to hear this....I have been speaking to my husband and kids in a horrible fashion! I am working on thinking a bit before I speak...its not easy for me I tend to flip on everything!! I could use a lot of prayer in this area...it is impossible to do it on my own, but with God all things are possible!

It’s funny that I didn’t specifically make a resolution, but as the new year unfolded I found myself trying to prioritize things a bit differently. Reading Proverbs has led me to move many things I already know from the back of my brain to the front of my brain where I can put them to use much quicker. I finished reading a book called, “Have a Little Faith,” by Mitch Albom and even though it doesn’t seem like much it’s a huge accomplishment because I start books all the time and don’t find the time to finish them. The cool thing is that by taking a little time for myself to read and reflect I’m finding that I’m checking in with God throughout my day. For example when I’m feeling frazzled, you know that moment just before everything starts to get out of hand, I’m able to be aware of what’s happening and ask God for help. It’s usually at that moment that my whole perspective changes and then things become more manageable. Reading Proverbs is challenging me to live God’s way, and the number one most important thing is that it is His way and not my way. I’m so thankful and humbled by this.

What a kick in the kiester. My mouth and my words are such a daily struggle. I feel like my heart is so ugly. It's horrifying. I have been yelling at the kids all day... underlying issues... too many to list. I feel the weight of this ugliness in my heart and wondered when it happened. It's not who I am or what I want to be. I feel like my heart is SO HARD that there is no way that God can even penetrate it. I have been seeking, trying to pray, and yet, my life remains the same. I read your words about actually acting and making changes but feel so lost in the struggle I can't seem to find the way out. It's so my desire. I want my kids to feel loved, blessed and to have a mom that has wise, strong words of encouragement and love, not sharp words of frustration that make them feel like crap. IDK what to do. My heart is seriously seeking right now. I so praise God for giving me my husband who in my struggle sees my humanness and stress and understands. He listens and thoughtfully processes my needs and how to help me through them. He's more than I deserve at this point.


So, here's Proverbs 14 tid-bit:

6 A mocker seeks wisdom and never finds it,
but knowledge comes easily to those with understanding.

Ladies...YOU are NOT mockers. For you understand. (The Greek root for this understand is to discern or consider.) You understand the truth. You understand the God we serve. You are rooted in HIs Word, and your heart and soul belong to Him.

So therefore the knowledge (Gr: perception, skill, wisdom) of Him and His words transforms our lives, because we UNDERSTAND.

It's not about the destination. It's not about being perfect. It's not about reaching the goal.

Instead it's all about the journey, the refinement in our daily walk, and running the race.

Philippians 2:16
Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ's return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless.

So, ladies, just focus on today. Go get new "running shoes", tune your ipod to Him, grab a running partner, and get moving. For it's all about baby steps!

Much much love!

Rebecca

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Choose Your Words Wisely

Hey Mama Friends!

Happy Hump Day...Wednesday, I mean! It's all downhill from here!

Can you believe January is almost 1/2 done? How are you doing on your resolutions? Any successes you want to share? Anything you've learned during this two week period of time?

We're all on this amazing journey called life...and we're all learning different things at once. I think it would be amazingly encouraging to hear what God is doing in your life! Just email me back and I'll compile everyone's answers and email them out tomorrow. Such fun! :)

*****
Proverbs 13.

I'll keep this one short since there is one verse that deserve a little time spent processing and applying it today, especially as women.

v3 Those who control their tongue will have a long life; a quick retort can ruin everything.

Easier read, than done. Actually easier wished for, easier desired, easier forgotten, than done. And done consistently.

No matter how many scented candles we burn, cookies we bake, decor we hang up, the bottom line is it is our words that determines the emotional atmosphere of our home.

See, words are simply an outward expression of the chaos and havoc that reign supreme in our hearts and minds. Eventually, if you do not examine your thoughts and refine them under His magnifying glass, they will come out as words. And when they do, most of the time the grief caused is really not worth the words in the first place.

How wise Solomon was to write: "a quick retort can ruin EVERYTHING." Everything. Just not some things...but absolutely everything.

I've actually been on a date with Cliff and with one fell swoop of a negative or condescending comment from me, I can actually ruin the entire night. And I do mean entire night...

For those words then have a ripple affect, and the repercussions can go on and on and on even for days if we let our pride get in the way of making things right. Those words determine how others react back to us, in words and in deeds...and if left unhealed, those words can destroy the future relationship, as well as leave negative memories in the past.

It's exhausting to think that every day we have to possibility of impacting the future through our relationship with our husband, our example to our children, and then in our children's lives just by choosing our words wisely.

(I love in the movie Ever After with Drew Barrymore, the queen tells the wicked stepmother, "Choose your words wisely, for they may be your last.")

But instead of seeing it exhausting, see it as freeing. Every moment, every hour, every day, we have the possibility of making someone light up with our words. We have the possibility of molding our child's memories into ones of happiness and peace. We have the opportunity to build up our marriage and our husband through our encouraging and gentle words. And how amazing is that?

Today, before you say something negative or critical, try putting it through the filter of the following:

1. Am I truly ticked/hurt about this one event, or is there an underlying reason for feeling this way that I should address instead? (Don't critique the dishes if you're really feeling unloved.)

2. Is this a mountain or a molehill? Is this worth dying for? (Sometimes I don't say anything, pretending it's a molehill, and then three weeks later it's a mountain because I've hung onto it. If you've determined at this moment it's a molehill, then LET IT GO!!)

3. If someone was coming to me with this same concern, how would I receive it best? (Yelling and arguing are usually not the way to "move" a person emotionally.)

4. And once, filtered, and you've determined what you're going to say and how you're going to say it, then WAIT for the right time. Wait for the kiddos to be occupied, wait for the stress of work to dissipate, wait for the distractions to go away...you'll know when. Promise!

In Titus 2 yesterday, Pastor David Hegg said, "You built the spouse you have." (Just like, you have the kind of kids you spent molding.)

Like an arrow to my perfect wife bubble, "pop" went all I thought was true...and my world just turned upside down. For how Cliff responds to me is largely based on how and with what words I engage him. That's food for thought!

So, my friends. Words. Check them today as you enter into conversation with your family...and may He calm your mind, take your worry, encourage your walk, and give you the strength to succeed just for today.

Love!

Rebecca

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Crazy

So, here's my confession. Things at home have been crazy. And when I say crazy, that doesn't mean busy, or funny, or easily solved. I mean crazy as in crazy-making, deep-seeded systemic problems that have probably plagued me my entire life. Isn't that a great thing to "wake up" to?

My theme this year is "action." Like stop talking, and start doing. Stop dreaming, and start moving. Stop wishing, and start acting. You got the picture, right?

But I had to realize that action without refining and redefining my thought processes is nothing but shallow and minor changes that won't ever take lasting root. They won't...and they can't, because there is no value or belief that the changed behavior is rooted in.

For example...I'm going to diet. Okay, so workout more and eat less. But if I don't process why I eat when I eat, and why I hate working out but hold myself to a standard of body that is impossible to achieve without it, then I haven't solved anything. I'll probably watch what I eat for maybe 2 weeks, if that. You know, until that crisis happens, and I turn to the pretzels for answers...or maybe some ice cream! :)

So the behavior, without modifying your thoughts is worthless. All the pills, diets, accountability partners, church activities, friends, blogs, facebook confessions will not solve anything unless you change the inner workings of your mind.

And that's how we go in circles, around and around without ever improving, without ever going anywhere. And pretty soon, you are CRAZY!

This morning at Titus 2 was a much needed wake-up call for me regarding submission and my marriage...and the selflessness that is supposed to accompany the union between Cliff and I that is meant to be the image of the 3-in-1 trinity.

Talk about being hit between the eyeballs!

Then to read Proverbs 12 (since today is the 12th)...well, let's just say, there is no escaping the Lord if He wants you to learn something!

1 To learn, you must love discipline;
it is stupid to hate correction.

**But the Lord doesn't promise that discipline/correction will come easy or be painless. In fact, our pride and selfishness probably makes the discipline much more worse. Instead, allow your hearts to be open to His words without a defensive response mechanism.

And in fact, allow your hubby to correct you without being defensive. Again, swallow that pride and be selfless...for the betterment of your union with your hubby. I stink at this! But if you do this once, he might think you're crazy...but after awhile, well, wouldn't this crazy be awesome if it was normal??


3 Wickedness never brings stability,
but the godly have deep roots.

**Rooted in the glory and truth of the Lord. Rooted in His words. Not in our thoughts, our emotions, our instincts. But in Him. And He is not crazy!

4 A worthy wife is a crown for her husband,
but a disgraceful woman is like cancer in his bones.

**Yikes! So, if I'm the cancer, maybe I need chemotherapy?? For I have not been worthy to Cliff in the past two weeks.

8 A sensible person wins admiration,
but a warped mind is despised.

**How many of us allow our thoughts to run our lives? We get caught up in what we perceive as reality and then those thoughts warp our actions, reactions, and interactions with others...and then we truly are despised.

9 Better to be an ordinary person with a servant
than to be self-important but have no food.

**In this verse, the self-importance chokes out the need for anything else. It actually chokes out your true purpose, and it can become so blinding that you do not do what is necessary just to survive. Hence the "no food" comment and how crazy to love yourself more than the sustenance that it takes to keep you alive!

How many of us do this with our hubbies? We see ourselves as too important to do the little things to make his life easier. I know I do! No wonder I drive him crazy!

15 Fools think their own way is right,
but the wise listen to others.

**Goes with v. 1...correction and discpline vs. self-important pride. This is how crazy people actually do get crazy. They belief their "truth" more than reality's truth...and then they're wandering around downtown LA talking their crazy with no one but themselves.

26 The godly give good advice to their friends;s
the wicked lead them astray

** This is you, girls! Good advice comes from those rooted along with you in the family of Christ and who are thinking and acting with a humble and caring Christ-like heart. And I am grateful for you and the role you play in my life!


How's that for an action packed day...and I haven't even picked Keegan up from school yet! CRAZY! But this time, maybe it's crazy GOOD.

Crazy good because I am loved by a God who created me perfect in His image, with a plan and purpose for my life, who will grow me and love me through this process of becoming more like Him.

How crazy amazing is that?

I hope you have a crazy afternoon too!

With love and appreciation for you-

Rebecca

Monday, January 11, 2010

Humility

Hey Girls! Happy Monday!

Don't ask why, but I now love Sunday nights and Monday mornings.

I love knowing that everything in my house is as it should be on Sunday night...and that on Monday morning there is structure back in my day to give me that discipline that I lack (or am able to let go of) during the weekend! :)

I hope your weekend was awesome, and granted you that well-deserved rest before hitting a busy week!

Proverbs 11
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2 Pride leads to disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom.

Isn't this completely opposite of what society tells us? In the world, pride may look like wisdom. It may even look like self-confidence or self-worth. But in the end, pride always comes before the fall.

When we are dealing with our families this week, remember that humility goes a long way. It softens hearts; it allows for gentleness to be expressed; and it keeps the "collateral" damage to a minimum.

Humility is also honored by the Lord, and it is He who is able to take your humble heart and make its affects stretch to the ends of your world.
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I "love" the next string of verses. I don't mean "love" as in, "these are awesome, encouraging, pick-me-up verses," but I love that the Lord is gracious enough to give us direct instructions on what being godly looks like...and what it doesn't.


3 Honesty guides good people;
dishonesty destroys treacherous people.
(omit v. 4)

5 The godly are directed by honesty;
the wicked fall beneath their load of sin.

6 The godliness of good people rescues them;
the ambition of treacherous people traps them.

7 When the wicked die, their hopes die with them,
for they rely on their own feeble strength.

8 The godly are rescued from trouble,
and it falls on the wicked instead.

9 With their words, the godless destroy their friends,
but knowledge will rescue the righteous.

10 The whole city celebrates when the godly succeed;
they shout for joy when the wicked die.


The contrast between the wicked and godly is strong and sharp. It cuts the population in two, and everyone knows it. Even the "whole city celebrates when the godly succeed; they shout for joy when the wicke die."

In our society, the line between wicked and godly has a lot of grey in it. We give ourselves permission to see degrees of grey in our own lives, because our sin may not be "that bad." Our sin may not be as blatent as our friend's, our child's, or our spouse's sin.

And yet, we are called to be humble in that comparison.

You see, the two go hand in hand. We are to stand for the righteous acts of the godly, but we are to cheer for the humble hearts with even more passion.

I think as mommies, and as mentors to younger women, this is key in raising the next generation.

We know they are born with limited wisdom, and we teach them to recognize right from wrong, but do we teach our babies to love humility, to defer to others, and to love others more than themselves?

Then as the "older woman," do we demostrate this to them in our actions? Are we being wise, continually being shaped by His wisdom, loving humility, and loving others more than ourselves? For actions speak much louder than words.

This is my challenge to you today, as it is for my life, in ways you couldn't imagine!

Humility, grace, wisdom, righteous living, honesty, relying on His strength, and trusting in His plan for my life! That is on my plate today!

Love girls! Happy Monday!!

R

Friday, January 8, 2010

Beyond Emotions

Happy Happy Friday, girls!

What a week it has been! I know for so many of you, this first complete week of the year has not been all you imagined. But you are on His journey, and every event is evidence of His grace, His plan, His power, and your faith. Keep on keepin' on, my friends. And hold on to wisdom!

Wisdom:

Wisdom is not your feelings. It is not your emotions. It is not your woman's intuition. It's not even our raw reactions to circumstances and people. In fact, you aren't even born with it.

And if you need proof of that, just look at your little ones running around with scissors and hiding their cut hair under their beds. But not that I speak from personal experience with that example! Haa!

We have the capacity to develop wisdom. We have the inate desire (unless, again, totally psychotic) that stems from our soul longing for Him, that in turn automatically craves wisdom. Everyone has this capacity.

Whether it's developed or not, that's a whole other story.

Read this Proverb as a sales pitch for why someone should love wisdom. Not only does it tell us all about her benefits (v. 6-20, 32-35) and gives us her resume and history with God (v. 22-31), but also gives her warnings of what life is like without her (v. 36).

It's pretty convincing sales pitch, don't you think?

See this as a calling to start placing wisdom into your daily thoughts and actions.

For here is the crux of why we are digging deep into His Word: without knowledge of Him through His Word, wisdom is not possible. And then I dare say that without being in a fellowship of believers where iron sharpens iron, wisdom is not given an opportunity to grow.

Sure, it is possible to read the Proverbs over and over again, and never to change one thing about your life. It is possible to read His Word and not be transformed, if your heart and mind are not open to receiving the truth of His words (and remember, sometimes truth hurts), especially if it's just a task to check-off on your to-do list of the day.

It is also possible to be in a mix of believing and practicing Christians, but to not let your guard down and pretend all is well. And then you go home and reality hits. You lose it with your hubby; you are fed up with your kids; you can't get a grasp of His reality for your life; and as a result, fall right back into "un-wisdom."

Girls, been there, done that. In both categories!

So, pick this Proverb apart. Look at all wisdom has to offer. Lay down those things in your life that keep wisdom from getting close. And pray that the Lord transform your mind this weekend, making sensitive the "wise" lobe in your brain! :)

Here's to a great weekend!

Lots of love!!

Rebecca

PS...I dropped Makena off at preschool and a mom was very upset with me for reasons far out of my control. All I could think of on the way home was, "WISDOM!!!! Do not call her. Do not fixate on this. Instead pray for her. And have WISDOM!!" Maybe I should tattoo this word somewhere where I would see it often! Who says God doesn't ask you to put into use the things of the day??? Ha! Love!!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Deep In Our Hearts

Hey Girls:

Quick correction to yesterday's Proverbs 6: v. 16-19 does not have 6 things the Lord hates, but 7!! I hate, hate, hate typos!! But because this had to do with His content, well, I had to correct my mistake! :)

Okay...so the immoral woman AGAIN!

I love v. 1-4:

1 Follow my advice, my son;
always treasure my commands.
2 Obey my commands and live!
Guard my instructions as you guard your own eyes.
3 Tie them on your fingers as a reminder.
Write them deep within your heart.

4 Love wisdom like a sister;
make insight a beloved member of your family.

This is not the first, nor the last time in Proverbs, that we are told to write His Word deep within our hearts. And I love this!

My heart is where I hold everything dear to me, everything I love, everything I value.

And physically, your heart is what keeps everything technically alive in your body. Your brain can stop functioning, but you can technically still be considered "alive." However, when your heart stops pumping, it is then, and only then, you are considered "dead."

Your heart can determine how healthy you are, your life expectancy, your physcial strength, and without it, nothing in your body can remain alive.

It is central to your existance, just as God's Words are central to your life's walk. Without His Words, you are dead.

So, my friends, write His words deep in your heart. Repeat them while doing dishes, folding laundry, making beds, driving to the grocery store...when disciplining, when trying to talk your mind down from needless angst, when facing disappointment or destruction, when talking with friends who need to hear His Words, and when feeling at the end of your rope. His Words are life-giving, self-protecting, and ever-true.

I have more thoughts, but it's 7am and I must wake my kiddos! :) (Aren't you glad these emails have time limits, or you might never get through them! HAAA!)

Have a fabulous day! Write some of His words on your heart...for you are precious in His sight!

Love!!

Rebecca

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

SOAP

So, my master plan of waking up early is never hard on the first, even the second day, but the third...oh, mama! :) Somewhere deep there is energy. I'm just not sure where.

But isn't that life and our walk with the Lord? He provides enough strength for today and all it requires...and we are to "stay in that day." We are not to jump ahead and worry about what is down the line...but stay present, thankful for the provisions of the day, rely on His wisdom and strength, and put one foot in front of the other (because I know when I stop moving, then the whole brain shuts down!).

And let me just say about my Proverbs emails: I am so not the expert at anything. I am not the end all, be all of anything. I am just a mommy and a wife believing that the Word of God can transform even my most destructive and unwise ways.

I hope you know that I am right there with you- walking straight into the same wall over and over again, feeling the bump on my head, saying it hurts, only to walk right back into the same wall. Sometimes I inform God that I've learned His lesson for me...and yet, I wind up right back to where I started weeks later. Isn't that unbelievably frustrating? Not at God, but at me!! Human nature is very defeating!

So Proverbs 6: I like the Proverbs where the sections are all topical. Call me neurotic, but I like when the themes are clustered:

v. 1-5 Don't Loan Money to Friends
v. 6-11 Don't be Lazy
v. 12-15 Definition of Evil People
v. 16-19 6 Things the Lord Hates
v. 20-23 Listen to Good Counsel
v. 24-29 Immoral Women (again!!)
v. 30-35 Consequences of Adultery (acting upon v. 24-29)

So, choose the section that speaks the most to you. And ladies, take it to heart.

Try the SOAP journal method on a sheet of paper. Take that section and write the Scripture (S) reference, then your Observation (O) in that passage, then how you will Apply (A) this passage in your life TODAY (key because if you don't put it to use today, you won't ever use it!), and then write a short Prayer (P) asking the Lord to put the Scripture into your heart and burn it into your mind.

I'm pasting a response from my friend Carolyn below to yesterday's immoral woman Proverb. I love that you have responses. If you don't mind, I'll make everyone's email available and we can have an email chat about the Proverbs. I'd love that! I'd also love to learn from you!!

Love girls! Have a fantastic day! Happy Middle-of-the-Week!!

Rebecca
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From Carolyn:

It’s crazy because once you’re married you think you’ve won the prize. I mean you both said, “I do,” in front of friends and family and were bound for life by God. If you look at it like you have to compete to keep your man, like one of those Survival competitions, that’s more like it. There’s so much temptation out there, through technology and people that cross paths with your husband. You have to work at it to keep that spark alive. Unfortunately, we also know sex is so important to our guys and it’s the first thing we tend to use as leverage in many situations. It’s also the first thing on the list of things to do that often get crossed out because we’ve run out of time or energy or both. We really have to make an effort to keep that spark alive and make home the place our hubby’s come to be filled up. It’s a tall order!!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Warrior Wives

So, obviously this applies to you immoral friends of mine! Hee! So so kidding!

But let's dive deep into why this passage happens to be plunked smack down it the middle of Proverbs with so much detail in it. And remember, nothing in the Bible is a mistake or happen-stance. It is God-breathed and therefore intentional and perfect in every way.

I think more and more in this society, there is a LACK of understanding of who this immoral "woman" is, because the lines of appropriate and inappropriate have failed to been drawn by either the pursued or the pursuer (in this case, the man is the pursued, and the immoral woman the pursuer).

Last month it was around the 5th that the Tiger Woods scandal broke. If that is not a perfect example of a man who allowed himself to be flattered, tempted, led,and acted upon the "greater than life" reputation that even HE believed, then I've got a gazillion of other examples of men who have fallen publicly. It is a tale that is too old to tell, but that will keep repeating until the world has ended and sin is no more.

As wives...and the guardians (as much as possible) of our hubby's heart, here's the thing. Men don't normally fall into temptation (or look for the temptation) if there is NO temptation standing before them or if they are not lacking in any way. Very rare (or almost impossible) is it that a person who is truly walking in His light, has NO access to darkness, and is being protected by those who love him, actually fall into sexual sin (unless they are sociopaths and lack a moral compass at all, which means if you thought they were walking in the light truthfully, well, they were probably just the greatest act ever!).

And you, my friends, are those warrior women out for blood when it comes to her hubby's heart and well-being.

So, who are the temptresses? These are the women that made the Tiger Woods story possible. Can you imagine if Tiger was looking for a hook-up, but all the girls said, "Eww, no! You're married!" Then we'd have no story. But they didn't.

They are the ones that do not have respect for marriage, for a commitment, and for a covenant that was made to the one you loved before a God who holds it together. They are the ones that will flatter, giggle, and hold your hubby's attention for a little longer than what is comfortable. And quite honestly, they are the ones that are lacking in a true spiritual connection with our Lord. For if they were walking with Him, they wouldn't need to be fulfilled by some man who was already spoken for.

So read this Proverb like you're a detective, looking for clues of the suspect. And then tuck those facts in the back of your mind, and love your man like crazy. For if you're not, then someone else is ready to.

Love you mamas! Off to wake-up my chillens for school. Here's to an amazing day!

R

Monday, January 4, 2010

Care Instructions

Good early morning!

Part of my NY's resolutions is to actually get up at 6am when my alarm goes off! Haaa! Imagine actually following through with your own master plan! So, let's consider Day 1 successful! :)

Proverbs 4 this morning...get to it after you get home from dropping your little ones off at school...or find some quiet time during their nap time to grab a little spiritual refreshment...you know, before you reheat your coffee, reach for the computer, turn on The View, or gab on the phone. Try putting time with Him first in those quiet moments.

I love Proverbs 4, v. 20-27...and if I could get them posted on every person's "instruction" sheets, I would.

Imagine if you came with a set of "Care Instructions" tucked away in your back pocket for intense situations and things that are seemingly out-of-control. And you just plucked those instruction sheets out, referenced your problem, and wah-la...there's your answer.

Well, these verses would definitely be on MY instruction sheet. When the rubber meets the road, I do not fall back to these words of God. Trust me. And because I don't, well, let's just say the situation, whether just in my mind, or in my words and actins too, increasingly (and sometimes at an alarming pace) gets out-of-control.

We women are awesome at that, aren't we? We take one thing, and blow it up, analyze it from every aspect, spin it, and make it into something (all in our minds) that it probably wasn't in the first place.

But God says,

19 But the way of the wicked is like total darkness.
They have no idea what they are stumbling over.

20 My child, pay attention to what I say.
Listen carefully to my words.
21 Don't lose sight of them.
Let them penetrate deep into your heart,
22 for they bring life to those who find them,
and healing to their whole body.

23 Guard your heart above all else,
for it determines the course of your life.

24 Avoid all perverse talk;
stay away from corrupt speech.

25 Look straight ahead,
and fix your eyes on what lies before you.
26 Mark out a straight path for your feet;
stay on the safe path.
27 Don't get sidetracked;
keep your feet from following evil.

So, this is my prayer for myself today. And I will be praying for you.

If you want to meet us for coffee, tomorrow (Tuesday Jan 5th) at 9am at the Starbucks on the corner of Seco Cyn and Copperhill...

Love!!

Rebecca