Folly's Danger

Okay...6:23am, 4 days late. I KNOW! What happened to me?

Well, it started by pulling an all-nighter to get a bunch of tasks checked off my list. Crazy? Maybe. Productive? Totally. And Makena was sick this whole week and home with me...that shot any free time I actually thought I had. Not that I'm a helicopter parent hovering over her in every moment, but because just when my concentration kicks in, she asks for water, wants to watch a movie, changes into shorts and a t-shirt (and then I have to explain its 68 degrees in our house, change back into pants and a long-sleeved shirt), and on and on the cycle goes. Wednesday we set up a wireless network in our home (YEAH!) and our internet and computers were out-of-commission for a good 5 hours (that totally cramps my style!!). And well, Thursday, I kept both kids home just for a fun day (but don't tell them that...they think it was because they both have raspy voices!!). Wah-la.

Friday, February 12th...6:28am. Proverbs 9!

13 The woman named Folly is brash.
She is ignorant and doesn't know it.
14 She sits in her doorway
on the heights overlooking the city.
15 She calls out to men going by
who are minding their own business.
16 "Come in with me," she urges the simple.
To those who lack good judgment, she says,
17 "Stolen water is refreshing;
food eaten in secret tastes the best!"
18 But little do they know that the dead are there.
Her guests are in the depths of the grave.

Oh, Folly...let's just call her Dolly for the sake of this email. I always like naming personalities, not that I'm schizophrenic, but because it brings her character to life!
So, Dolly's just chillin' on her front stoop. You know these kind of girls (maybe you don't, but pretend you do!). She's loud, brash, bordering on obnoxious. She draws attention to herself by laughing with a cackle, fake screaming when someone pranks her, and being silly with those who will actually sit with them. You know she's a little emotionally unstable for some valid reason, but if you asked her, she would have no idea. This is simply who she is.
Did you notice that Dolly has nothing better to do? She has no family, nobody around her to ask her what she's doing with her life. Instead she lives in the moment. She's idle...and you know what they say about idle hands. She has no daily, even hourly purpose, so she just hangs. Hangs and waits for anything or anyone to happen to her.
If situations don't just fall into her lap, she'll create them. Hollering down the block at those walking “minding their own business” (v15), flirting, taunting, luring, and genuinely being undiscerning about whom she attracts. She doesn't care about what kind of person falls into her trance, because it's not about them. It's about her: what attention she's getting, what validation she's receiving, because her worth is proven when a person falls into sin…she has sold their soul. That is her sole purpose.

But Folly is just not after our men…for Folly is after us.

Folly is the “gateway drug” for any sin. It’s the foolish flirtation with temptation that easily and eventually leads to sin. It’s the entertaining of the sin in your mind and heart. And if you play with fire long enough, eventually you will get burned.

Most people don’t realize that Folly is where sin begins. They don’t understand the sin they’ve fallen into was the result of a process that began long before the actual sin. Have you ever heard broken people say, “I don’t know how I got here”? Have you even heard parents say, “I had no idea my child was this far lost”? Have you ever asked those questions of yourself? I know I have! Usually in the moments of complete despair of how much I have ruined my own life.

In search of wisdom, let’s spend the next couple minutes dissecting Folly’s allure and how she uses our own sinful nature against us. Once we look carefully at Folly, we can be more vigilant for ourselves and for our little ones.

[**Sidenote: Notice I do not include our hubbies in that list…for we are not their Holy Spirit. As my Bible study leader says, “God does not have an opening for that position. It is adequately filled by the Holy Spirit.” Love that! We can be vigilant in preventative measures…doing what we are called to do as wives, lovers, friends, help mates, encouragers. But if our hubby falls, we must stop the finger pointing, the shaming, the guilt tripping, and instead need to get down on our knees and pray, pray, pray that our man’s heart becomes more and more sensitive to the wisdom He calls him to live by.

I know for me, when I start becoming Cliff’s Holy Spirit (or mother), I lose sight of the respect I am to have for my hubby and as a result, submission goes flying out the window. I then am haughty and arrogant, easily annoyed, and angered, because I have called the shots and he has not listened to me. How dare he? And soon my marriage has flipped totally upside down and I am the one at fault. This happens all the time to me! Ugh! I am in a constant stage of learning!]

Whether we want it or not, Folly is there. She waits for us. Sometimes she’s not as blatant as sitting along the path we’re on, but she’s there. For our health, it is best for us to see her, to be aware of her, and to understand the danger she poses. That doesn’t mean we interact with her, but we must at least acknowledge her presence. When our eyes are blind to our surroundings, this is when we can easily fall prey to things out there.

It’s like all the warnings we women receive when walking across a parking lot at night by ourselves to ward off a possible attack: walk with confidence and power, look like we know where we’re going and nothing’s going to stop us from getting there, be totally aware of our surroundings constantly scanning our surroundings without being distracted, stay in the lit and populated areas, and have our keys laced between our fingers. It is these tools we can have when looking at the danger that may be lurking (or not) around in the darkness.

Like the potential attackers, Folly waits for the simple…those lacking good judgment. When you are unprepared, you are forced to be on the defense instead of offense, which means immediately you are at a disadvantage. To save our lives, we must be proactive, not reactive. When we are reactionary, problems will overtake our good judgment. We are all “simple” at one point or another (v16).

Folly’s Plan of Attack (Spoken from Folly’s point-of-view):

1. Get the Person to Stop at My Stoop: Questioning Judgment



She stopped. She saw me and stopped. Most people avoid me and walk right on by. But not her. I know she stopped because something in her is interested in what I can offer. She thinks stopping is harmless, but I know that unless she has an amazing will-power, this is her fatal mistake. I’ll have to entice her a little more, encourage her to come up the steps, but I know that if they stop I can sell them a whole bunch of lies that the majority believed. She has opened her heart and mind up to the possibilities I can offer her on the surface. I know I can do this.


2. Say Enough to Get the Girl To Walk Up the Steps to Get a Closer Look. Dulling Judgment


She comes up for a closer look. From afar, I look interesting, harmless, even beautiful. The grass at the top of the stoop is much better than the grass at the bottom, or so she thinks. I know the conversation she’s having with herself…she’s trying to convince herself that this is no big deal. She’s not looking for the sin I know is hiding behind my front door, or even TO sin, but she “just” wants to know more. This is where the saying “curiosity killed the cat” comes from.



At this point, her judgment is dulling. The girl justified walking up the steps believing she still has the wits and the wisdom to retreat. She may think that she’s looking for reasons to go, but she’s really looking for reasons to stay. Most are unaware this is happening in their hearts, but this is why she was drawn to me in the first place. She may be scared of me, but she’ll find a way to squelch it. Once she’s creeping towards me, I know I have her. I have her heart and soul. It belongs to me…and more importantly, it belongs to my master. She may not know it, but I do. I’ve seen this happen time and time again. This is what I’m good at.


3. Get The Girl to Engage in a Conversation with Me. Lacking Judgment



I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos. I can sell a car to someone who already has five. I can convince you using the best techniques the world has to offer. In this conversation, I will tell her everything she needs to be reassured of to continue on. I use guilt, regret, remorse, pride, arrogance, anger, pity, sympathy, despair, dares, insults, compliments, lies, crazy-making…and I’m good. I always get my girl. Always.



Before she knows it, she’ll be agreeing with me, compromising her values for me, and soon she’ll even forget who she is. I will have her all mixed-up and confused.

I know she’s mine because she’s lost all judgment. Everything she knew was right is now wrong. Her world has turned upside down…and I did that to her. She’ll never win against me. She won’t leave unscathed. I have her smack down in the palm of my hand, and I will deliver her through those doors behind me. Again, this is my job.


Four Lies I may Tell You to Lose Your Wits:

1. “It’s not a big deal.” I can’t believe your questioning this because it’s not that big of a deal. PUHHHH-LEEEASE, girl! This is nothing compared to the evil in the world. Besides you’re not doing anything wrong.

2. “You’ll love it.” You’ll have fun, enjoy every moment, feel like you’re living on the edge, and be someone totally different that you are right now. Besides, the pain only comes after you are caught, which I’ll never tell you because I’m Folly. It’s all about enjoying the moment.

3. “Everyone does it.” If everyone does it, how bad can it be? Seriously. My job is to minimize the gravity of your ultimate decision.

4. “You are special.” You deserve this. You can handle this. You can walk away any time. But this is better than your normal life. You have suffered enough. You have put up with enough. You are worth more than all this, and you’ve earned this.



4. Get the Girl to Follow Me Through the Front Door. Death of Judgment



She’s sold. I told you I’d be successful. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. This was actually quite easy! I didn’t even break a sweat. She’s following me through the door of sin, to a place that only ends in death and destruction of her character, her soul, her heart, and the life she once led. I know she’s following me because she has no idea what long-term affects lie behind this door. She is so blinded by the short-term pleasure and ease derived from this decision that it is impossible for her to see the end result.



For if she saw the end, she would run away screaming. It’s my trick of mirrors. I make sure she never sees what is really there, and only sees what really isn’t there. I tell her what she needs to hear, surround her with people who validate her sin, point her in the direction that would hide the truth, and cover her with shame and guilt and fear assuring she will never leave. How could she leave, when she knows she is doomed.



There is always the possibility that she will wake up when she hits rock bottom, is discovered, or has lost some things or some ones in her life that matter more than this sin. But my job is not to keep her in sin…it’s just to get her in the front door.


How exhausting is that? Makes me want to walk on the straight and narrow for the rest of my life. Yowza!!

As a forewarning, if you were able to walk away from Folly anywhere between Steps 1 through 4, the next time you are faced with her, you will be more likely to stop again and continue with the process. Rest assured, she will be there. When you least expect it, when you are at your weakest, when you are at your lowest, she will be there. Maybe it’s a whisper in your ear, a temptation that pops up, a tiny argument within your soul, it is there.

For many of us, it may be how we spend (or waste) our time…or money (for the most part our hubby’s hard-earned money)…or what we intake (TV, movies, conversations, internet)…or what we output (gossip, hurtful words, lack of affection or sex). This may not be an extra-marital affair, addiction to pain killers or alcohol, or an addiction to internet relationships, but we have our stuff, don’t we? And that stuff can be just as harmful to our relationships with others, with ourselves, and with our God as any “big” thing. For anything that becomes more important than the wisdom we hold in our hearts from the Lord, has the potential to destroy us.

You know, as we may come upon Folly, the Lord is watching us walk down that street and all He wants is us to run to Him, retreat in His protection and love, and be victorious over the pitfalls in our way. He is ready to rescue us at any point between Folly and sin…and even when we are deep in sin. For we serve a forgiving, merciful God who loves us more than we deserve. It is humbling and awesome in every sense of the word. For He is great.

So, my friends, be diligent for your own hearts and in guiding the hearts of your children. Be prayerful, mindful, and wisdom-ful for yourselves. And get on your knees for your hubbies, praying the Holy Spirit would be present, moving, and guiding in their hearts and lives.

Sorry for my tardiness. I know you are gracious to me…much more than I am with myself. I love each of you and am so blessed by you.

Love! R