Good early morning, ladies!
I hope you slept well, your kiddos slept well, and you woke up with a renewed sense of being!
Sometimes I hate sleep, only because I can get so much more done if I limit my time snoozing in bed! I'll admit that I see sleep as a necessary evil! Haaa! My sister-in-law however would argue that there is nothing better in the world than to sleep a good 12 to 14 hours. In her defense, she doesn't have any children, so I'll let her believe that sleep's her best friend. Hee! But I couldn't do that if I tried. I was never ever like that, even as a teen. (go back and make parallel to the paragraph below)
In the same token, I know that I have to spend time alone in the Word and with my Lord to feel equally refreshed! Sometimes its done out of a task that needs to be crossed off the list...and that's when I end my time with the Lord and immediately whip around and yell at my kids. For true devotions are spent when you devote your whole mind, heart, soul to be RENEWED by Him. Much like sleep is necessary for our bodies, so His Word is necessary for our hearts, minds, and souls.
Sometime today, curl up in the couch with a blanket, a cup of coffee, for a little uninterrupted time (notice I didn't say quiet, because in most of our homes, quiet is not possible) to dig deep in His Word. Take out the Proverbs of the day, read it, underline things that stand out to you, choose a verse to memorize, and pray over it as you commit it to memory. The fruit of that 10-15 minutes spent in His Word will amaze you.
I think so many of us reach the end of our day and wonder what we have to show for it except a string of blow-ups (whether aggressively or passive aggressively) creating emotional havoc. But more times than not, when we rest in His Word first, the atmosphere in our home is markedly more calm, peaceful, patient. For me, His Word has made more difference than a cup of coffee (how many of us make it a point to stop every morning at Starbucks but can't crack open our Bibles?), than a shower (I can yell equally as loud with clean hair as with dirty), than a clean home (this is just a facade that makes me feel as though I'm in control), than happy, compliant children (they're probably not happy nor compliant because I have crushed their spirits along the way); because the Word of God changes us from the inside out. It's not a supplemental vitamin we try to take daily, but instead we should see it as the main meal in order for our heart to find balance and His perspective.
Try it. And see what happens. See if your hubby notices. See if your home is more peaceful. See if your heart notices things that it never noticed before. See if you're more aware of His hand during your day. Dare to see things from His perspective; to breathe; breathe deep; let go of your human frailty; and to rise again in His strength. For we are to put off what is old, and put on what is new. (Scripture) That's my challenge for you and me today!
Proverbs 22
24 Don't befriend angry people
or associate with hot-tempered people,
25 or you will learn to be like them
and endanger your soul.
I used to teach 6th grade in a private school in my pre-kids life, and I loved every moment of it! Some of you dread the time when you're kiddos are pre-teens, but let me assure you that sixth graders are a blast! Not only are the hilariously funny, but their brains are actually learning to think...not just because you told them to, but because they are genuinely trying to get a grasp on the world that is around them and their place in that world. I owe much of my wisdom to the parents' of my students, all of my parenting style to them (because I knew what children I wanted my kids to be like, and then peppered the mom with parenting questions...let's call it the "Schaumloeffel Institute of Parenting Research!" HAA!), and much of my sanity to those who have walked before me. (As a bit of a rabbit trail, let me say that I learned because my heart was open and I wanted the end result.)
One of the things I learned was the importance of friends and the parents' understanding of the influence of friends' in their children's lives. Some of my students were moving to public schools after 6th grade and parents would ask me how to keep their "little" ones from getting sucked into the vortex of worldliness. One of the most important things I would tell them was to know who were their child's friends.
Why? Because those friends have the ability to encourage your child on the right path or to derail them faster than anything.
As this verse 24-25 says, "if you hang out with corrupt people, you too will become corrupt, and it will ruin your soul" (paraphrased by me to take it to a broader concept). It's not just the angry, but the defiant, rebellious, depressed, withdrawn, self-labeled "social outcasts," arrogant, unyielding, disrespectful, unkind, and the unloving. Any of those can rub off on our babies, whatever their age, and it is our job to be the defender of our babies' hearts.
But what about our own friendships? What about the people we allow into the inner-courts of our hearts? What are they encouraging us to do? What traits of theirs are rubbing off on us? Is the friendship supporting your life's purpose? Are your choices encouraged by the friendship? Are you uplifted when you leave your friend? Or are you even more crabby, cranky, dissatisfied, negative, critical when you return home?
We may not be pre-teen sixth graders, but as women, our hearts are just as vulnerable to those we spend the most time with. For they are the ones who can keep us on track or derail us!
Proverbs 13:20 Walk with the wise and become wise;
associate with fools and get in trouble.
Let's look closely at the typical "friends" we may have that suck the life we truly desire right out of us:
1. The Crab:
For this poor gal, everything is interpreted through the negative "glass is 1/2 empty" view. She gripes, complains, whines, and even throws tantrums because her life is not what she ever wanted. She's more busy pointing the finger at others in self-righteous blame, than to realize she can change everything.
You become friends with her because her sarcasm, at first, is funny and revealing. But the more you get to know her you realize the unhappiness and unrest is deep-seeded and toxic. You find yourself absorbing her cynicism, going home and being critical, noticing things that never bothered you before, being vocal when you know it is not productive, causing the strife in your home to be on the rise, which is directly counter-productive to what the Lord calls you to do.
If you think you will change her, you won't. But she will cloud your vision.
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit,
for anger resides in the lap of fools.
2. The Flirt:
This the woman, that if married, is quite unsatisfied and finds the attention with other men and in social circles that put her fidelity at risk falsely fulfilling. If not married, then she is constantly out and about, flirting, hooking-up, collecting men on her journey. She is most likely attractive, fun, and effervescent. You are drawn to her, just like everyone else, because of this, but what you soon realize is that all this bubbly flirtation is hiding a lonely heart. A heart that is not loved by anyone, not even herself.
To be with her, you must join her escapades. If you're not fun, she doesn't want to be with you. You'll be a downer to her state of euphoria. She will avoid having coffee with you in an intimate, get-down-to-the-heart conversation because she doesn't want to get down to the bottom of anything. She avoids as a defense mechanism.
But to put yourself in her world is dangerous. It can be exciting, thrilling, and even titillating, especially if you are living in your sweats, talking to 3-year-olds all day long, and then at war with your hubby when he gets home. The unhappiness can breed contempt for the life you are called to lead, and if you find yourself in a compromising situation in mixed company it can be too tempting to resist.
If you want to change her, you won't. But she will cause you to question your morals.
Proverbs 6:23-24 For their (father's instructions) command is a lamp
and their instruction a light;
their corrective discipline
is the way to life.
24It will keep you from the immoral woman,
from the smooth tongue of a wayward wife.
3. The Self-Absorbed:
This "friend" is really not a friend at all. She probably doesn't know what a true friend acts like or says, so she keeps it all about her. You will probably find yourself in the middle of a conversation you've said nothing but, "uh-huh" in response to everything she says. She doesn't care to know your heart, so she doesn't ask. This is a one-sided friendship, which by definition, isn't much of a friendship.
To continue the friendship, you must assume the role of listener, and not expect much else in response. In theory you will be her friend, but she will not be yours. For a friend listens, loves, and laughs with the other. If you want more of a reciprocal friendship, you will not find it here. And if you do want to say anything, be prepared to just interject any time she takes a breath...but don't expect her to respond to it.
In the end, this friendship will only remain on the surface. Nothing deep will be shared from her to you. You are simply her therapist; the kind of therapist that just listens and nods until the hour is up. Instead of being vitamin rich, this friendship is filled with empty calories. Time will be spent, but nothing will be gained.
If you think you will change her, you won't. Instead she will waste your time.
Proverbs 18:21 The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
4. The Depressed:
We are not talking about the depression, we may find ourselves in when we all go through sadness making our whole world blue. Temporary depression is part of the human condition when the trials of this world weighing heavily on our hearts. I'm also not talking about those clinically diagnosed with depression due to an imbalance of hormones in your body. This depression is very real.
Instead, the depressed friend is the one who is always depressed, no matter the joy and blessings occurring around her. She has allowed a temporary depression define her, for she is getting fed by how others are responding to her, and this gives her enough reason to CHOOSE to remain trapped. Everything is cause for a pity party, the "poor me...I have it so bad." Compare it to Eeyore from Winnie The Pooh, who goes through his whole life eating thistles and wagging his tail unenthusiastically only to swat away flies.
You will try to help this friend. We all do. We feel her pain; we think we're carrying her through, but in the end, she must come to grips with herself and the Lord. Ultimately, she will exhaust the string of sympathizing friends and end up alone, which is where her "come-to-Jesus" meeting is actually going to happen.
This person is craving answers for her problems that she is not willing to work out in her heart, mind, actions. So, really, she does not want to move out of the depression because the attention, sympathy, and love she receives in this state is fulfilling enough to her hurting heart.
I was given this advice from an older, wiser person: if a person comes to you for advice, then walks away without really grappling with it (thinking about it, trying it, refuting it...which will lead to the exposure of root issues), and then comes back for the same advice, do not waste your time. Redirect her to the previous conversation. Do not rehash. And do not continue to give her advice, for she is now manipulating you (and keeping the attention on herself).
If you think you will change her, you won't. Instead she will drain you.
Proverbs 13:4 Lazy people want much but get little,
but those who work hard will prosper.
Proverbs 14:23 Work brings profit,
but mere talk leads to poverty!
5. The Self-Indulgent:
This friend is able to indulge in everything life has to offer...a mani/pedi, dinners out, vacations, gifts, cars, clothes, and the list goes on. She doesn't have the normal perspective nor constraints on life, nor does she understand the limitations others must live under. She gets a babysitter when her hubby is hard at work, just so she can go out with her friends. She spends hours invested in molding and shaping her body, but no time creating deep relationships with anyone around her (hubby, kiddos, friends) except maybe with her personal trainer.
The truth is that in the self-indulgence, she's running away from pain and loneliness. A quick shopping fix will cure the heartache. If she refuses to cultivate deep friendships around her, then there is something she has to hide. All in all, this person is curing an aliment with temporary happiness caused by the things she does.
You will be her friend because she's fun and exciting. She may live the life you envy, spending without thinking about it because she's rich and able. But let me say that in the end richness does not come from money, but from the relationships we have with people.
This friendship will be shallow...but will cause you to look at your own life with disdain and a critical eye. You will become envious, dissatisfied, crabby at home, critical of your hubby, and convinced that money will be the answer to all your problems.
If you think you will change her, you won't. Instead she will monopolize you.
Proverbs 12:12 Thieves are jealous of each other's loot,
but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit.
6. The Perfect:
Sometimes I think this friend is one of the most appealing to us, especially if we are running around in Christian circles. Somehow we internalize the notion that if the Lord is the true Lord of our lives, then nothing bad will happen. We will marry the perfect man, who will provide the perfect salary to give us the perfect home to birth the perfect babies to be able to do all the perfect things you're "supposed to" with your perfect children. Everything is perfect. So, let's pop that bubble right now.
There is no such thing as perfect. Perfect does not exist on this side of heaven. Not even remotely close. The perfect friend who pretends she's living the perfect life is either naive to what is truly going on around her or so insecure about the imperfection that lies behind closed doors that the perfection is her facade.
You will be drawn to her because she's happy, go-lucky. She's fun...and perfect. And who doesn't want a perfect friend? But you will leave dissatisfied once again with your own life. You will convince yourself that the grass is truly greener on the other side. You will be the "what if" game...what if I didn't marry him, what if I didn't quit work, what if i didn't...and on and on the regret piles up.
Galatians 3:3 How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?
7. The Gossip:
This gal's purpose is to spread truths, half-truths, and non-truths about everyone else but herself. Do you realize gossips don't spread gossip about themselves? That would be against her whole reason behind gossiping. If you're talking about others, then you can't talk about yourself. And you can hide behind everyone else's indiscretions.
You will be friends with her because "inquiring minds want to know," right? Somehow, we women are drawn to know the inside track. We justify it as a "concern, prayer request, lesson learned from someone else's actions," but we can surround ourselves with it. We lose sight of our home, of our integrity, of the truth, of His truth. Gossip can destroy friendships, lives, reputations, futures, and faiths.
Proverbs 11:12-13 It is foolish to belittle one's neighbor;
a sensible person keeps quiet.
13 A gossip goes around telling secrets,
but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
***************
Now, please do not hear me say "surround yourself with Christian friends who shouldn't do these things to you," for we are called to this world to be His light. We are called to invest, love, reach, influence non-believers for His kingdom.
However, we need to be aware. We need to be prayerful. And we need to constantly be evaluating our hearts, for our priority is not to save our "friend" (that's God's job), but to keep ourselves from becoming our "friend."
I would also contest that the stereotypical "friends" listed above are probably not true friends. For friendship is a reciprocal relationship, filled with encouragement, giving and taking, honesty, and always acts in the best interest of the other person.
At the end of the day, your priority as a Christ-follower, wife, mom, homemaker is to put those things above all others. If you find your life being monopolized by being outside the home, you need to have a heart-to-heart with God and ask Him to reveal what you're running away from. Friends are the sweetest things to happen to life...but family trumps friends, for that's how God intended it.
Here's to true friendships! I am grateful for you!!
Lots of love mamas!
Monday, February 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
L.O.V.E.
Good morning, my friends!
I hope you were blessed this weekend by your family for Valentine's Day! I don't "love' this holiday because of the gifts or romantic expectations, but I love having one day that celebrates the heart behind all we do. For everything we do, as wives and moms, all starts with the heart...whether laundry, cooking, pep talks on the way to school, helping with homework, changing diapers, ironing shirts, running to the bank, buying the groceries, etc...this is all done because we LOVE.
Have you ever thought about that? How every little thing you do is all because of your heart for the people in your home? Today, go about the mundane tasks of mommyhood, wifehood, and livelihood, and do it with a heart of love. Let this be an amazing living experiment and see if you experience anything different. Not in the response of others, but in the state of your own heart and attitude.
Proverbs 17
3 Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
but the Lord tests the heart.
Today, this verse popped out at me, because I love the wording...fire tests purity, but the Lord tests the heart.
Fire is one of those things in life that can be strangely beautiful and mesmerizing, or threatening and destructive depending on the situation. The warmth and comfort from a fire roaring in your family room fire place has a very different feel from the fire barreling down the canyon behind your home with unpredictable wind speeds and direction. One you cuddle up in front of with the ones you love to feel the warmth on a cold night, and the other you shove everything of value (real or sentimental) and your loved ones in your car and run as fast as you can away from.
The only thing that differentiates the two is the control we have over the fire. In the fire place, bar-be-cue, stove burner, heater pilot light, or backyard fit pit, the fire is beautiful, even necessary for our lives. For it provides warmth and heat enabling us to cook, stay warm, have hot water, dry clothes, even dry hair (okay...I know your hair dryer doesn't have fire, but have you ever lit your hair on fire because it gets too hot?? Let's just say, I've have a few mishaps!!). Fire is good. It is for our good.
The wildfires we have witnessed, especially in Southern California, are just the opposite: wild, out-of-control, unpredictable, life-threatening, willing to eat any fuel in its way indiscriminately, rapid, has no boundaries, and potentially no end. We have no control over these fires, and it's the very opposite: we are controlled by these fires.
But the purpose of the fire is the same: burn what is dead, and strengthen what remains alive.
A forest fire is a necessary event in the cycle of nature created to clear away the dead, allow room for the new growth, even popping open some seeds that are only broken open by extreme heat. Have you ever seen a cut tree ring that has the scar of a fire on it? It looks marred and yet, that new bark grew right over it and the tree continued on in its glory and splendor.
This is was the Lord does with His fire. From the beginning of time, God created the world to withstand and endure fire. It is a natural element with a purpose. And yet, it's destructive, frightening, and hurtful.
Have you ever sung that song, "Refiner's Fire"? When in college, we sang it every Friday in chapel: "Refiner's Fire...my heart's one desire...is to be...holy...set apart for you Lord...it is to be...holy...set apart for you Lord...ready to do Your will." I love it! Because our ONE desire is to BE holy and therefore giving glory to Him. Amazing!
So let's look at a few things that the Lord would love to burn out of our lives and replace with attributes that are from Him:
1. Faithfulness replaces doubt and fear:
Usually we fear and have doubt in what we cannot see. We're convinced that it's the out-of-control fire that we're sure rages in our future that throws us into a tizzy today and wastes today's opportunities of their potential. And yet, we are called to put our faith in Him, not because of what we see, but because of WHO He is!
2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
2. Trust replaces worry:
We like to know how the story is going to end, don't we? I have friends who will not read a book unless they read the last 5 pages and know how it's going to end. They have to know that their time spent reading will be worth it in the end. Have you ever endured a crazy movie and then nothing is solved at the end, and you walk away hating the movie, especially if I've paid full price for the ticket? ME TOO! But we judge the worth of the story based upon whether it ends how WE want it to end.
Sometimes we treat the Lord the same way. We'll follow if we are guaranteed that the outcome is easy, comfortable, and we come out better. But sometimes it's not that way...but it's still for our good, our growth, His glory.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Hebrews 10:21-24 ...and since we have a great priest over the house of God,22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
3. Wisdom replaces foolishness:
I love this, because it all begins with our thoughts. Refining our thoughts, our motives, our interpretation of reality through HIS filter breeds wisdom. How amazing is it that we're not destined to remain clueless and foolish? How amazing is it that we can LEARN and GROW? Can you imagine if we never grew? A world full of mental toddlers would be disastrous!
Proverbs 1:2-6 To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding,
3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, judgment, and equity;
4 To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion—
5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel—
6 To understand a proverb and an enigma, The words of the wise and their riddles.
James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace‑loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
4. Repentance replaces sin:
Repentance and forsaking is when we are set free from our sin. Set free when we CHOOSE to let go of that sin that is rotting the inners of our soul. Whatever you are harboring, whatever you are holding on to, whatever you are hiding...let it go. He will free you.
Proverbs 28:13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper,
but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
2 Corinthians 7:9-11 (Paul writes...) yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
5. Forgiveness replaces guilt:
I think women can be their own worst enemies. Forgiving ourselves of the mistakes in the past is so so hard. But after repentance, forgiveness is the last step that allows you to move on. For to grow, you have to move on. A tree doesn't hold onto the scar as a badge of courage, for the new bark grows around it. The new bark might look different and not be perfect, but it allows the tree to forgive the past, learn from it, and then eventually forget it. We have to let things go.
Ladies, we are NOT perfect. We will never be perfect...for it's not even in our DNA. (And if we were, then we would NOT need the Lord. We'd be able to save ourselves, right?) So, stop holding yourself to perfection, and hold yourself to the Lord. What a concept, huh? I have to digest that one too!
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another**, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. **(including yourself)
6. Endurance replaces weakness:
I lack so much endurance, it's really not even funny. I always start out strong, but then wane as time goes by. Let's safely assume I'm the hare, not the turtle.
But enduring the fire requires endurance. For we are made weak through trials and tribulations, but it is through His strength that we are able to endure WITH endurance. And He hangs in there with us because He loves us with all His heart.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
7. Patience replaces anger and frustration:
What's the first thing to fly out the window when you're angry? And why are you angry in the first place? My bet would be you lose your patience...and you lose it because something has not gone as you have planned. I only know because I live this daily!
Be still...take a deep breath, blow out slowly, eyes closed, say a quick prayer, and reorient your mind to Him, and start over. For when we experience trials, do you ever realize that you'd love to run through them instead of waiting patiently for the Lord to work you through it? I know! I love to push things through, but we I do, I injure people along the way! I'm learning!
Psalm 46:10a “Be still, and know that I am God;"
James 1:2-6 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;
Fires, trials, tribulations are NOT fun; they are not comfortable, easy, nor desired. But they are meant to refine, to purify, to restart, to freshen, to prune, to clear out, to clean our hearts, and to ultimately be prepared for the purpose He has us on earth to do.
Ladies, His fire is just part of the journey. And our hearts, carrying that scar will heal, will look back and know its there, but also be a testimony of the strength of the Lord that carried us through times that we may want to forget. It is all for our good and His glory.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Lots of LOVE, girls. LOVE LOVE LOVE like you've never LOVED before. For HE IS LOVE! And isn't that amazing?
Have a lovely weekend! (I'm off to San Francisco for a business meeting tomorrow morning! Pray for safe travels, for Cliff's sanity with the kids, and that I stay awake in probably the most boring meetings of my life! HEWE!)
I hope you were blessed this weekend by your family for Valentine's Day! I don't "love' this holiday because of the gifts or romantic expectations, but I love having one day that celebrates the heart behind all we do. For everything we do, as wives and moms, all starts with the heart...whether laundry, cooking, pep talks on the way to school, helping with homework, changing diapers, ironing shirts, running to the bank, buying the groceries, etc...this is all done because we LOVE.
Have you ever thought about that? How every little thing you do is all because of your heart for the people in your home? Today, go about the mundane tasks of mommyhood, wifehood, and livelihood, and do it with a heart of love. Let this be an amazing living experiment and see if you experience anything different. Not in the response of others, but in the state of your own heart and attitude.
Proverbs 17
3 Fire tests the purity of silver and gold,
but the Lord tests the heart.
Today, this verse popped out at me, because I love the wording...fire tests purity, but the Lord tests the heart.
Fire is one of those things in life that can be strangely beautiful and mesmerizing, or threatening and destructive depending on the situation. The warmth and comfort from a fire roaring in your family room fire place has a very different feel from the fire barreling down the canyon behind your home with unpredictable wind speeds and direction. One you cuddle up in front of with the ones you love to feel the warmth on a cold night, and the other you shove everything of value (real or sentimental) and your loved ones in your car and run as fast as you can away from.
The only thing that differentiates the two is the control we have over the fire. In the fire place, bar-be-cue, stove burner, heater pilot light, or backyard fit pit, the fire is beautiful, even necessary for our lives. For it provides warmth and heat enabling us to cook, stay warm, have hot water, dry clothes, even dry hair (okay...I know your hair dryer doesn't have fire, but have you ever lit your hair on fire because it gets too hot?? Let's just say, I've have a few mishaps!!). Fire is good. It is for our good.
The wildfires we have witnessed, especially in Southern California, are just the opposite: wild, out-of-control, unpredictable, life-threatening, willing to eat any fuel in its way indiscriminately, rapid, has no boundaries, and potentially no end. We have no control over these fires, and it's the very opposite: we are controlled by these fires.
But the purpose of the fire is the same: burn what is dead, and strengthen what remains alive.
A forest fire is a necessary event in the cycle of nature created to clear away the dead, allow room for the new growth, even popping open some seeds that are only broken open by extreme heat. Have you ever seen a cut tree ring that has the scar of a fire on it? It looks marred and yet, that new bark grew right over it and the tree continued on in its glory and splendor.
This is was the Lord does with His fire. From the beginning of time, God created the world to withstand and endure fire. It is a natural element with a purpose. And yet, it's destructive, frightening, and hurtful.
Have you ever sung that song, "Refiner's Fire"? When in college, we sang it every Friday in chapel: "Refiner's Fire...my heart's one desire...is to be...holy...set apart for you Lord...it is to be...holy...set apart for you Lord...ready to do Your will." I love it! Because our ONE desire is to BE holy and therefore giving glory to Him. Amazing!
So let's look at a few things that the Lord would love to burn out of our lives and replace with attributes that are from Him:
1. Faithfulness replaces doubt and fear:
Usually we fear and have doubt in what we cannot see. We're convinced that it's the out-of-control fire that we're sure rages in our future that throws us into a tizzy today and wastes today's opportunities of their potential. And yet, we are called to put our faith in Him, not because of what we see, but because of WHO He is!
2 Corinthians 5:7 We live by faith, not by sight.
Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
2. Trust replaces worry:
We like to know how the story is going to end, don't we? I have friends who will not read a book unless they read the last 5 pages and know how it's going to end. They have to know that their time spent reading will be worth it in the end. Have you ever endured a crazy movie and then nothing is solved at the end, and you walk away hating the movie, especially if I've paid full price for the ticket? ME TOO! But we judge the worth of the story based upon whether it ends how WE want it to end.
Sometimes we treat the Lord the same way. We'll follow if we are guaranteed that the outcome is easy, comfortable, and we come out better. But sometimes it's not that way...but it's still for our good, our growth, His glory.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
Hebrews 10:21-24 ...and since we have a great priest over the house of God,22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water.23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful.24 And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
3. Wisdom replaces foolishness:
I love this, because it all begins with our thoughts. Refining our thoughts, our motives, our interpretation of reality through HIS filter breeds wisdom. How amazing is it that we're not destined to remain clueless and foolish? How amazing is it that we can LEARN and GROW? Can you imagine if we never grew? A world full of mental toddlers would be disastrous!
Proverbs 1:2-6 To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding,
3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, judgment, and equity;
4 To give prudence to the simple, To the young man knowledge and discretion—
5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, And a man of understanding will attain wise counsel—
6 To understand a proverb and an enigma, The words of the wise and their riddles.
James 3:17 But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace‑loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.
4. Repentance replaces sin:
Repentance and forsaking is when we are set free from our sin. Set free when we CHOOSE to let go of that sin that is rotting the inners of our soul. Whatever you are harboring, whatever you are holding on to, whatever you are hiding...let it go. He will free you.
Proverbs 28:13 He who conceals his sins does not prosper,
but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
2 Corinthians 7:9-11 (Paul writes...) yet now I am happy, not because you were made sorry, but because your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us.10 Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.11 See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.
5. Forgiveness replaces guilt:
I think women can be their own worst enemies. Forgiving ourselves of the mistakes in the past is so so hard. But after repentance, forgiveness is the last step that allows you to move on. For to grow, you have to move on. A tree doesn't hold onto the scar as a badge of courage, for the new bark grows around it. The new bark might look different and not be perfect, but it allows the tree to forgive the past, learn from it, and then eventually forget it. We have to let things go.
Ladies, we are NOT perfect. We will never be perfect...for it's not even in our DNA. (And if we were, then we would NOT need the Lord. We'd be able to save ourselves, right?) So, stop holding yourself to perfection, and hold yourself to the Lord. What a concept, huh? I have to digest that one too!
1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another**, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. **(including yourself)
6. Endurance replaces weakness:
I lack so much endurance, it's really not even funny. I always start out strong, but then wane as time goes by. Let's safely assume I'm the hare, not the turtle.
But enduring the fire requires endurance. For we are made weak through trials and tribulations, but it is through His strength that we are able to endure WITH endurance. And He hangs in there with us because He loves us with all His heart.
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails.
Hebrews 12:1-2 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
7. Patience replaces anger and frustration:
What's the first thing to fly out the window when you're angry? And why are you angry in the first place? My bet would be you lose your patience...and you lose it because something has not gone as you have planned. I only know because I live this daily!
Be still...take a deep breath, blow out slowly, eyes closed, say a quick prayer, and reorient your mind to Him, and start over. For when we experience trials, do you ever realize that you'd love to run through them instead of waiting patiently for the Lord to work you through it? I know! I love to push things through, but we I do, I injure people along the way! I'm learning!
Psalm 46:10a “Be still, and know that I am God;"
James 1:2-6 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;
Fires, trials, tribulations are NOT fun; they are not comfortable, easy, nor desired. But they are meant to refine, to purify, to restart, to freshen, to prune, to clear out, to clean our hearts, and to ultimately be prepared for the purpose He has us on earth to do.
Ladies, His fire is just part of the journey. And our hearts, carrying that scar will heal, will look back and know its there, but also be a testimony of the strength of the Lord that carried us through times that we may want to forget. It is all for our good and His glory.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Lots of LOVE, girls. LOVE LOVE LOVE like you've never LOVED before. For HE IS LOVE! And isn't that amazing?
Have a lovely weekend! (I'm off to San Francisco for a business meeting tomorrow morning! Pray for safe travels, for Cliff's sanity with the kids, and that I stay awake in probably the most boring meetings of my life! HEWE!)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Stop The Flow
Proverbs 10
Oh, mamas!
So true confessions: I chose this verse for purely selfish reasons. My mouth, my words, my indiscretion, my expressed thoughtlessness are things I have always struggled with, since the dawn of my time.
My grandma is in town and my kids are thrilled to be around Great-Grandma Peddie. Last night they had to put on a “Crazy Circus” for her. As they hammed it up for her doing funny tricks and telling funny jokes, I made the fatal mistake of saying, “I don’t know where they get this from.” She and my mom both looked at me like I was insane and exclaimed at the same time, “We do!” Ego. Struck. Dead. HAA!
I actually “love” this verse because it is WHAT I need to do. It’s not what I do…but it’s what I NEED to do. So, let’s unpack it, if for no one else’s benefit but mine! Hee!!
Proverbs 10:19
“Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!”
Let’s make the fair assumption that this verse was written for us, girls. With our word capacity being 24,000 words a day, compared to our men’s 12,000, I think we can safely say it’s our verbal flow that is in need of stoppage.
Obviously, simple talking does not equate sin. Communication is necessary for our existence, and the Lord knows that. I remember reading in O Magazine about a man who lived in silence for 16 years! I laughed when reading it because, of course, it was a MAN living in silence for a woman would never make that sacrifice! HEE!
But this verse addresses the excessive talking that we easily engage in. It’s this talking that becomes counterproductive to the purpose of real talking is designed to do. It becomes harmful, hurtful, sharp, and self-centered. Ultimately it is what is said in the excess that can create sin!
5 Ways Talking Can Turn Into Sin:
1.Gossip:
We girls love having the inside scoop, don’t we? If we didn’t, magazines like People, InTouch, Us Weekly, and internet sites like PerezHilton.com would have no one to read them, and would cease to exist.
We love knowing things that are none of our business. We even thrive on analyzing other people’s choices and misery, giving our own lives a false sense of stability and validation that comes from comparing.
But what’s worse is in moments of weakness we easily spread information about the people we love and adore to others who should not be in possession of their information. This in itself is an obvious violation of trust.
The Excuses We Use:
-“It’s a prayer request.” We gossip under the false pretense we want others to pray for our friends. Then we convince ourselves that in order to do so, others need to know all the sordid details of their short-comings and circumstances. This happens all the time, especially in Christian circles.
-“It’s not that big of a deal.” Their problems aren’t that tragic, so it’s not a big deal if others know. However, it may be a big deal to the person who shared with you.
- “I’ll just tell one person, that’s it.” We fool ourselves thinking if we just tell one person, they won’t turn around and “just tell one more person.” Safely assume that when you tell someone something, they in turn will tell someone else. We should know this after playing Operator at some point in our lives!
Rules of Sensibility:
- If someone has shared something with you in confidence, don’t tell anyone else unless you have her permission to share with a specific person.
- If you feel there is another person who could help her more than you (wiser, older woman), again, ask her permission before you tell her story. This intention would be to get your friend in contact with the older, wiser woman…and for you to step out of that relationship. Remember, it is her story to tell.
- If, and ONLY if, you know blatantly this person is a danger to herself or those around her, you may report her story to the proper authorities. This is done out of love for your friend and looking out for her immediate health and best interest of her family.
2.Inappropriate Sharing of Personal Information:
We do this all the time to our hubbies and the state of our marriages. We get together with a bunch of girlfriends and divulge every detail of our married life. It’s sad, because in most instances, our husbands do not come out as winners. More than likely it’s a man-bashing festival of great proportions. And if you don’t bash, then you’re seen as an outsider or a do-gooder.
The sin is in the violation of the bond of marriage…the love and respect that we share with our spouse is shot to pieces when we air our dirty laundry without concern for how our hubbies come out looking like in the end.
Excuses We Use:
- “I’m just telling the truth.” Unfortunately the truth is solely from our perspective and more than likely vindicates us from playing any part of the relationship.
- “I am just sharing.” “Sharing” includes all of my experiences, which includes all of HIS experiences…his good and his bad.
- “I get caught up in what my friends are talking about.” If they’re all bashing their hubbies, then I want to jump in. All in the spirit of camaraderie.
- “I share to make her feel better about her marriage.” She has it worse than me, and I don’t want her to feel alone, so I chime in.
Rules of Sensibility:
- Pretend your hubby is in the room listening to your conversation. Would he be embarrassed, uncomfortable, angry, or sad? If the answer is yes to any of these, you need to stop the flow.
- Would he ever want to be around these “friends” of yours, knowing what they know? If the answer is “no” then you need to stop “sharing.”
- If you really want advice on your marriage, then you need to share what YOU struggle with and what YOU want to change. Do not ask your friends about what HE can change…for YOU can only change YOU. If chosen wisely, your friends will support and encourage you to make the changes to enhance your part in the marriage. They will even cheer you on towards His glory for your relationship!
3.Too Wordy:
Have you ever been around a 4-year-old little girl who just talks with no point, no purpose, no rhyme or reason…just to hear her own voice? I actually live with one, so I know this from first-hand experience.
When we aren’t generally controlling the flow from our mouths, not only do we lose discretion over the kinds of words that come from our lips, but we lose discretion over the amount of words we use. All of a sudden the flow has no valves to stop it. We just talk and talk and talk.
The unfortunate thing is that the first place where the Lord wants to mold and renew us as His daughters, is in our thoughts. If we do not give enough attention and time to sift through our thoughts and put them through His filter, then what leaves our mouths is not of Him. When we speak without thinking, it is not honoring to the Lord.
Excuses We Use:
- “I just didn’t think.” It’s always after the fact that you think. You didn’t think before you spoke. You just spoke. But the problem with words is that you cannot take them back. And very rarely can you undo them, unless forgiveness is granted.
- “This is the way I am. I speak my mind.” Well then, eventually you will be very lonely…or you will be living with very unhappy people. Promise.
Rules of Sensibility:
- If you think something, wait 30 seconds. In those 30 seconds, test your thoughts through God’s truth, the truth of the situation, and the truth of the person in the scenario. Remember, your perspective is not truth.
- Ask yourself what the consequence will be if you voice your thought and then weigh f the result is worth it. If not, then don’t say anything and let it go.
- Ask yourself WHY you would voice your thought. What are you expecting to accomplish? If it’s nothing positive, then don’t say anything.
- If you are simply trying to fill the silence, turn on music or start reciting Bible verses. Fill the silence with something more wise than your own unfiltered thoughts.
4.Criticism:
I think as women sometimes we get in the “mother knows best” rut and then feel we have to voice every critical comment that comes to our mind. We don’t care whose spirit we step all over, we are “called” to critique and fix anything someone else is doing wrong.
There is no filter of what is important and what is not, for you see it as all important. From the shoes that don’t match, to the way he sings with the radio, to the way your hubby feeds the kids, to the way your son puts the cap on the toothpaste, to the way the school sends home notices, to the way your friend drives…criticism can eat your heart alive. Have you ever noticed that it can get worse around that time of month?
In addition to the consuming negativity of your criticism on your own heart, your criticism also destroys the lives of those we love. I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio and a lady called crying hysterically because she was very critical with her husband and kids. Dr. Laura asked why and she said, “That’s the way my mom was. She loved us through her criticism.” How warped is that? Criticism is not love.
Constructive criticism is totally different than the harsh, no-holds-bar criticism some of us “offer”. The people who are the victims of our criticism tend to be our amazing hubbies and innocent little ones. With our words, we can trample hopes, dreams, joy, and happiness. We create an atmosphere of fear and walking on egg-shells. As women of the Lord, we are called to be more thoughtful than this.
Excuses We Use:
- “It is wrong and I have to say something.” Something may be wrong in your opinion, but not in the moral or spiritual sense of wrong.
- “I’m the mother, that’s why.” We tend to believe that our opinion is not to be questioned. We were placed by God to be your god, right? Wrong.
- “It’s the truth.” Criticism is truth packaged in nastiness. Criticism is truth without concern for the heart or for the well-being of the person. Criticism is the thing that will destroy the hope in any relationship.
Rules of Sensibility:
- If someone said what you are going to say to you, would you be offended? If yes, then don’t say it. (And be honest. Your skin is not that thick! Promise!)
- Determine if this is a mountain or a molehill. If it’s a molehill, then let it go. If it’s a mountain then don’t address it until you can communicate with kindness.
- Take a deep breath and then take into account the person’s heart and list five good things about them in your mind. This will help reshape your frame of mind and lessen the frustration. Revisit the criticism, rephrase it with love, and then MOVE ON .
- Forgive. When you forgive, you lighten your heart. You allow joy to enter your life, and somehow criticisms will not pop into your mind as easily.
5.Self-Centered:
Have you ever been in conversation with a person who never asks you about you…who never shows an interest in your interests…or who isn’t concerned with you? I’ve had friendships like that in the past. And let me say, that those friendships don’t last very long. I was actually once friends with a woman who, when she had something to say, would just talk right over me without waiting for me to finish. What on earth, right? Don’t we learn in preschool to listen?
But in turn, we women have a hard time listening to our own hubbies, especially when we have so much to say ourselves. No wonder they feel as though they can never get a word in edge-wise. We’re too busy going on and on about our day, our thoughts, our emotions, our complaints, to listen to our men. And we don’t even need him to prompt us to talk. We just do it.
Excuses We Use:
- We have no excuse, for we are so self-absorbed we don’t even know we need an excuse.
Rules of Sensibility:
- If you realize you have fallen into this habit, make it a point to initiate the conversation by being the FIRST to ask the other person a question.
- Be sensitive to the other person, reading body language, eye contact, and general interest in the conversation.
- If the person is uninterested, reevaluate the purpose of the conversation, get to the point faster, ask if there would be a better time to talk, or drop it all together.
- Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. When Cliff has a hard day at work, he’s not so apt to ask me about my day, nor want to hear a minute-by-minute blow-by-blow account for my day with the kiddos. In those times I remember his saying, “Just the news, not the weather.” This helps me to decide what he HAS to know to function, and what he doesn’t. If we talk too much then all our men will hear is “wah-wah-wah” like Charlie Brown and his teacher. When our hubbies turn off their ears, then we lose the ability to touch our hubby’s heart.
- Be quick to listen. Slow to speak.
- Be other oriented. Make sure you are tending to other’s needs first before your own. This will change everything about your relationships.
I am challenged in all areas. But I am excited! It’s when we are equipped that we can move forward. Girls! We can do this! Because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit…we are all capable through the strength of the Lord. He wants to use our words to spur on our loved ones’ hearts and minds towards Him. But it all starts with us.
I pray that today, you bite your tongue when you don’t want to…you think before you speak…and you find ways to be an encourager for your spouse, your children, and your friends. I will be doing the same.
Here's to stopping the flow!!
With love and complete respect!
Oh, mamas!
So true confessions: I chose this verse for purely selfish reasons. My mouth, my words, my indiscretion, my expressed thoughtlessness are things I have always struggled with, since the dawn of my time.
My grandma is in town and my kids are thrilled to be around Great-Grandma Peddie. Last night they had to put on a “Crazy Circus” for her. As they hammed it up for her doing funny tricks and telling funny jokes, I made the fatal mistake of saying, “I don’t know where they get this from.” She and my mom both looked at me like I was insane and exclaimed at the same time, “We do!” Ego. Struck. Dead. HAA!
I actually “love” this verse because it is WHAT I need to do. It’s not what I do…but it’s what I NEED to do. So, let’s unpack it, if for no one else’s benefit but mine! Hee!!
Proverbs 10:19
“Don’t talk too much, for it fosters sin. Be sensible and turn off the flow!”
Let’s make the fair assumption that this verse was written for us, girls. With our word capacity being 24,000 words a day, compared to our men’s 12,000, I think we can safely say it’s our verbal flow that is in need of stoppage.
Obviously, simple talking does not equate sin. Communication is necessary for our existence, and the Lord knows that. I remember reading in O Magazine about a man who lived in silence for 16 years! I laughed when reading it because, of course, it was a MAN living in silence for a woman would never make that sacrifice! HEE!
But this verse addresses the excessive talking that we easily engage in. It’s this talking that becomes counterproductive to the purpose of real talking is designed to do. It becomes harmful, hurtful, sharp, and self-centered. Ultimately it is what is said in the excess that can create sin!
5 Ways Talking Can Turn Into Sin:
1.Gossip:
We girls love having the inside scoop, don’t we? If we didn’t, magazines like People, InTouch, Us Weekly, and internet sites like PerezHilton.com would have no one to read them, and would cease to exist.
We love knowing things that are none of our business. We even thrive on analyzing other people’s choices and misery, giving our own lives a false sense of stability and validation that comes from comparing.
But what’s worse is in moments of weakness we easily spread information about the people we love and adore to others who should not be in possession of their information. This in itself is an obvious violation of trust.
The Excuses We Use:
-“It’s a prayer request.” We gossip under the false pretense we want others to pray for our friends. Then we convince ourselves that in order to do so, others need to know all the sordid details of their short-comings and circumstances. This happens all the time, especially in Christian circles.
-“It’s not that big of a deal.” Their problems aren’t that tragic, so it’s not a big deal if others know. However, it may be a big deal to the person who shared with you.
- “I’ll just tell one person, that’s it.” We fool ourselves thinking if we just tell one person, they won’t turn around and “just tell one more person.” Safely assume that when you tell someone something, they in turn will tell someone else. We should know this after playing Operator at some point in our lives!
Rules of Sensibility:
- If someone has shared something with you in confidence, don’t tell anyone else unless you have her permission to share with a specific person.
- If you feel there is another person who could help her more than you (wiser, older woman), again, ask her permission before you tell her story. This intention would be to get your friend in contact with the older, wiser woman…and for you to step out of that relationship. Remember, it is her story to tell.
- If, and ONLY if, you know blatantly this person is a danger to herself or those around her, you may report her story to the proper authorities. This is done out of love for your friend and looking out for her immediate health and best interest of her family.
2.Inappropriate Sharing of Personal Information:
We do this all the time to our hubbies and the state of our marriages. We get together with a bunch of girlfriends and divulge every detail of our married life. It’s sad, because in most instances, our husbands do not come out as winners. More than likely it’s a man-bashing festival of great proportions. And if you don’t bash, then you’re seen as an outsider or a do-gooder.
The sin is in the violation of the bond of marriage…the love and respect that we share with our spouse is shot to pieces when we air our dirty laundry without concern for how our hubbies come out looking like in the end.
Excuses We Use:
- “I’m just telling the truth.” Unfortunately the truth is solely from our perspective and more than likely vindicates us from playing any part of the relationship.
- “I am just sharing.” “Sharing” includes all of my experiences, which includes all of HIS experiences…his good and his bad.
- “I get caught up in what my friends are talking about.” If they’re all bashing their hubbies, then I want to jump in. All in the spirit of camaraderie.
- “I share to make her feel better about her marriage.” She has it worse than me, and I don’t want her to feel alone, so I chime in.
Rules of Sensibility:
- Pretend your hubby is in the room listening to your conversation. Would he be embarrassed, uncomfortable, angry, or sad? If the answer is yes to any of these, you need to stop the flow.
- Would he ever want to be around these “friends” of yours, knowing what they know? If the answer is “no” then you need to stop “sharing.”
- If you really want advice on your marriage, then you need to share what YOU struggle with and what YOU want to change. Do not ask your friends about what HE can change…for YOU can only change YOU. If chosen wisely, your friends will support and encourage you to make the changes to enhance your part in the marriage. They will even cheer you on towards His glory for your relationship!
3.Too Wordy:
Have you ever been around a 4-year-old little girl who just talks with no point, no purpose, no rhyme or reason…just to hear her own voice? I actually live with one, so I know this from first-hand experience.
When we aren’t generally controlling the flow from our mouths, not only do we lose discretion over the kinds of words that come from our lips, but we lose discretion over the amount of words we use. All of a sudden the flow has no valves to stop it. We just talk and talk and talk.
The unfortunate thing is that the first place where the Lord wants to mold and renew us as His daughters, is in our thoughts. If we do not give enough attention and time to sift through our thoughts and put them through His filter, then what leaves our mouths is not of Him. When we speak without thinking, it is not honoring to the Lord.
Excuses We Use:
- “I just didn’t think.” It’s always after the fact that you think. You didn’t think before you spoke. You just spoke. But the problem with words is that you cannot take them back. And very rarely can you undo them, unless forgiveness is granted.
- “This is the way I am. I speak my mind.” Well then, eventually you will be very lonely…or you will be living with very unhappy people. Promise.
Rules of Sensibility:
- If you think something, wait 30 seconds. In those 30 seconds, test your thoughts through God’s truth, the truth of the situation, and the truth of the person in the scenario. Remember, your perspective is not truth.
- Ask yourself what the consequence will be if you voice your thought and then weigh f the result is worth it. If not, then don’t say anything and let it go.
- Ask yourself WHY you would voice your thought. What are you expecting to accomplish? If it’s nothing positive, then don’t say anything.
- If you are simply trying to fill the silence, turn on music or start reciting Bible verses. Fill the silence with something more wise than your own unfiltered thoughts.
4.Criticism:
I think as women sometimes we get in the “mother knows best” rut and then feel we have to voice every critical comment that comes to our mind. We don’t care whose spirit we step all over, we are “called” to critique and fix anything someone else is doing wrong.
There is no filter of what is important and what is not, for you see it as all important. From the shoes that don’t match, to the way he sings with the radio, to the way your hubby feeds the kids, to the way your son puts the cap on the toothpaste, to the way the school sends home notices, to the way your friend drives…criticism can eat your heart alive. Have you ever noticed that it can get worse around that time of month?
In addition to the consuming negativity of your criticism on your own heart, your criticism also destroys the lives of those we love. I was listening to Dr. Laura on the radio and a lady called crying hysterically because she was very critical with her husband and kids. Dr. Laura asked why and she said, “That’s the way my mom was. She loved us through her criticism.” How warped is that? Criticism is not love.
Constructive criticism is totally different than the harsh, no-holds-bar criticism some of us “offer”. The people who are the victims of our criticism tend to be our amazing hubbies and innocent little ones. With our words, we can trample hopes, dreams, joy, and happiness. We create an atmosphere of fear and walking on egg-shells. As women of the Lord, we are called to be more thoughtful than this.
Excuses We Use:
- “It is wrong and I have to say something.” Something may be wrong in your opinion, but not in the moral or spiritual sense of wrong.
- “I’m the mother, that’s why.” We tend to believe that our opinion is not to be questioned. We were placed by God to be your god, right? Wrong.
- “It’s the truth.” Criticism is truth packaged in nastiness. Criticism is truth without concern for the heart or for the well-being of the person. Criticism is the thing that will destroy the hope in any relationship.
Rules of Sensibility:
- If someone said what you are going to say to you, would you be offended? If yes, then don’t say it. (And be honest. Your skin is not that thick! Promise!)
- Determine if this is a mountain or a molehill. If it’s a molehill, then let it go. If it’s a mountain then don’t address it until you can communicate with kindness.
- Take a deep breath and then take into account the person’s heart and list five good things about them in your mind. This will help reshape your frame of mind and lessen the frustration. Revisit the criticism, rephrase it with love, and then MOVE ON .
- Forgive. When you forgive, you lighten your heart. You allow joy to enter your life, and somehow criticisms will not pop into your mind as easily.
5.Self-Centered:
Have you ever been in conversation with a person who never asks you about you…who never shows an interest in your interests…or who isn’t concerned with you? I’ve had friendships like that in the past. And let me say, that those friendships don’t last very long. I was actually once friends with a woman who, when she had something to say, would just talk right over me without waiting for me to finish. What on earth, right? Don’t we learn in preschool to listen?
But in turn, we women have a hard time listening to our own hubbies, especially when we have so much to say ourselves. No wonder they feel as though they can never get a word in edge-wise. We’re too busy going on and on about our day, our thoughts, our emotions, our complaints, to listen to our men. And we don’t even need him to prompt us to talk. We just do it.
Excuses We Use:
- We have no excuse, for we are so self-absorbed we don’t even know we need an excuse.
Rules of Sensibility:
- If you realize you have fallen into this habit, make it a point to initiate the conversation by being the FIRST to ask the other person a question.
- Be sensitive to the other person, reading body language, eye contact, and general interest in the conversation.
- If the person is uninterested, reevaluate the purpose of the conversation, get to the point faster, ask if there would be a better time to talk, or drop it all together.
- Give the other person the benefit of the doubt. When Cliff has a hard day at work, he’s not so apt to ask me about my day, nor want to hear a minute-by-minute blow-by-blow account for my day with the kiddos. In those times I remember his saying, “Just the news, not the weather.” This helps me to decide what he HAS to know to function, and what he doesn’t. If we talk too much then all our men will hear is “wah-wah-wah” like Charlie Brown and his teacher. When our hubbies turn off their ears, then we lose the ability to touch our hubby’s heart.
- Be quick to listen. Slow to speak.
- Be other oriented. Make sure you are tending to other’s needs first before your own. This will change everything about your relationships.
I am challenged in all areas. But I am excited! It’s when we are equipped that we can move forward. Girls! We can do this! Because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit…we are all capable through the strength of the Lord. He wants to use our words to spur on our loved ones’ hearts and minds towards Him. But it all starts with us.
I pray that today, you bite your tongue when you don’t want to…you think before you speak…and you find ways to be an encourager for your spouse, your children, and your friends. I will be doing the same.
Here's to stopping the flow!!
With love and complete respect!
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Folly's Danger
Okay...6:23am, 4 days late. I KNOW! What happened to me?
Well, it started by pulling an all-nighter to get a bunch of tasks checked off my list. Crazy? Maybe. Productive? Totally. And Makena was sick this whole week and home with me...that shot any free time I actually thought I had. Not that I'm a helicopter parent hovering over her in every moment, but because just when my concentration kicks in, she asks for water, wants to watch a movie, changes into shorts and a t-shirt (and then I have to explain its 68 degrees in our house, change back into pants and a long-sleeved shirt), and on and on the cycle goes. Wednesday we set up a wireless network in our home (YEAH!) and our internet and computers were out-of-commission for a good 5 hours (that totally cramps my style!!). And well, Thursday, I kept both kids home just for a fun day (but don't tell them that...they think it was because they both have raspy voices!!). Wah-la.
Friday, February 12th...6:28am. Proverbs 9!
13 The woman named Folly is brash.
She is ignorant and doesn't know it.
14 She sits in her doorway
on the heights overlooking the city.
15 She calls out to men going by
who are minding their own business.
16 "Come in with me," she urges the simple.
To those who lack good judgment, she says,
17 "Stolen water is refreshing;
food eaten in secret tastes the best!"
18 But little do they know that the dead are there.
Her guests are in the depths of the grave.
Oh, Folly...let's just call her Dolly for the sake of this email. I always like naming personalities, not that I'm schizophrenic, but because it brings her character to life!
So, Dolly's just chillin' on her front stoop. You know these kind of girls (maybe you don't, but pretend you do!). She's loud, brash, bordering on obnoxious. She draws attention to herself by laughing with a cackle, fake screaming when someone pranks her, and being silly with those who will actually sit with them. You know she's a little emotionally unstable for some valid reason, but if you asked her, she would have no idea. This is simply who she is.
Did you notice that Dolly has nothing better to do? She has no family, nobody around her to ask her what she's doing with her life. Instead she lives in the moment. She's idle...and you know what they say about idle hands. She has no daily, even hourly purpose, so she just hangs. Hangs and waits for anything or anyone to happen to her.
If situations don't just fall into her lap, she'll create them. Hollering down the block at those walking “minding their own business” (v15), flirting, taunting, luring, and genuinely being undiscerning about whom she attracts. She doesn't care about what kind of person falls into her trance, because it's not about them. It's about her: what attention she's getting, what validation she's receiving, because her worth is proven when a person falls into sin…she has sold their soul. That is her sole purpose.
But Folly is just not after our men…for Folly is after us.
Folly is the “gateway drug” for any sin. It’s the foolish flirtation with temptation that easily and eventually leads to sin. It’s the entertaining of the sin in your mind and heart. And if you play with fire long enough, eventually you will get burned.
Most people don’t realize that Folly is where sin begins. They don’t understand the sin they’ve fallen into was the result of a process that began long before the actual sin. Have you ever heard broken people say, “I don’t know how I got here”? Have you even heard parents say, “I had no idea my child was this far lost”? Have you ever asked those questions of yourself? I know I have! Usually in the moments of complete despair of how much I have ruined my own life.
In search of wisdom, let’s spend the next couple minutes dissecting Folly’s allure and how she uses our own sinful nature against us. Once we look carefully at Folly, we can be more vigilant for ourselves and for our little ones.
[**Sidenote: Notice I do not include our hubbies in that list…for we are not their Holy Spirit. As my Bible study leader says, “God does not have an opening for that position. It is adequately filled by the Holy Spirit.” Love that! We can be vigilant in preventative measures…doing what we are called to do as wives, lovers, friends, help mates, encouragers. But if our hubby falls, we must stop the finger pointing, the shaming, the guilt tripping, and instead need to get down on our knees and pray, pray, pray that our man’s heart becomes more and more sensitive to the wisdom He calls him to live by.
I know for me, when I start becoming Cliff’s Holy Spirit (or mother), I lose sight of the respect I am to have for my hubby and as a result, submission goes flying out the window. I then am haughty and arrogant, easily annoyed, and angered, because I have called the shots and he has not listened to me. How dare he? And soon my marriage has flipped totally upside down and I am the one at fault. This happens all the time to me! Ugh! I am in a constant stage of learning!]
Whether we want it or not, Folly is there. She waits for us. Sometimes she’s not as blatant as sitting along the path we’re on, but she’s there. For our health, it is best for us to see her, to be aware of her, and to understand the danger she poses. That doesn’t mean we interact with her, but we must at least acknowledge her presence. When our eyes are blind to our surroundings, this is when we can easily fall prey to things out there.
It’s like all the warnings we women receive when walking across a parking lot at night by ourselves to ward off a possible attack: walk with confidence and power, look like we know where we’re going and nothing’s going to stop us from getting there, be totally aware of our surroundings constantly scanning our surroundings without being distracted, stay in the lit and populated areas, and have our keys laced between our fingers. It is these tools we can have when looking at the danger that may be lurking (or not) around in the darkness.
Like the potential attackers, Folly waits for the simple…those lacking good judgment. When you are unprepared, you are forced to be on the defense instead of offense, which means immediately you are at a disadvantage. To save our lives, we must be proactive, not reactive. When we are reactionary, problems will overtake our good judgment. We are all “simple” at one point or another (v16).
Folly’s Plan of Attack (Spoken from Folly’s point-of-view):
1. Get the Person to Stop at My Stoop: Questioning Judgment
She stopped. She saw me and stopped. Most people avoid me and walk right on by. But not her. I know she stopped because something in her is interested in what I can offer. She thinks stopping is harmless, but I know that unless she has an amazing will-power, this is her fatal mistake. I’ll have to entice her a little more, encourage her to come up the steps, but I know that if they stop I can sell them a whole bunch of lies that the majority believed. She has opened her heart and mind up to the possibilities I can offer her on the surface. I know I can do this.
2. Say Enough to Get the Girl To Walk Up the Steps to Get a Closer Look. Dulling Judgment
She comes up for a closer look. From afar, I look interesting, harmless, even beautiful. The grass at the top of the stoop is much better than the grass at the bottom, or so she thinks. I know the conversation she’s having with herself…she’s trying to convince herself that this is no big deal. She’s not looking for the sin I know is hiding behind my front door, or even TO sin, but she “just” wants to know more. This is where the saying “curiosity killed the cat” comes from.
At this point, her judgment is dulling. The girl justified walking up the steps believing she still has the wits and the wisdom to retreat. She may think that she’s looking for reasons to go, but she’s really looking for reasons to stay. Most are unaware this is happening in their hearts, but this is why she was drawn to me in the first place. She may be scared of me, but she’ll find a way to squelch it. Once she’s creeping towards me, I know I have her. I have her heart and soul. It belongs to me…and more importantly, it belongs to my master. She may not know it, but I do. I’ve seen this happen time and time again. This is what I’m good at.
3. Get The Girl to Engage in a Conversation with Me. Lacking Judgment
I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos. I can sell a car to someone who already has five. I can convince you using the best techniques the world has to offer. In this conversation, I will tell her everything she needs to be reassured of to continue on. I use guilt, regret, remorse, pride, arrogance, anger, pity, sympathy, despair, dares, insults, compliments, lies, crazy-making…and I’m good. I always get my girl. Always.
Before she knows it, she’ll be agreeing with me, compromising her values for me, and soon she’ll even forget who she is. I will have her all mixed-up and confused.
I know she’s mine because she’s lost all judgment. Everything she knew was right is now wrong. Her world has turned upside down…and I did that to her. She’ll never win against me. She won’t leave unscathed. I have her smack down in the palm of my hand, and I will deliver her through those doors behind me. Again, this is my job.
Four Lies I may Tell You to Lose Your Wits:
1. “It’s not a big deal.” I can’t believe your questioning this because it’s not that big of a deal. PUHHHH-LEEEASE, girl! This is nothing compared to the evil in the world. Besides you’re not doing anything wrong.
2. “You’ll love it.” You’ll have fun, enjoy every moment, feel like you’re living on the edge, and be someone totally different that you are right now. Besides, the pain only comes after you are caught, which I’ll never tell you because I’m Folly. It’s all about enjoying the moment.
3. “Everyone does it.” If everyone does it, how bad can it be? Seriously. My job is to minimize the gravity of your ultimate decision.
4. “You are special.” You deserve this. You can handle this. You can walk away any time. But this is better than your normal life. You have suffered enough. You have put up with enough. You are worth more than all this, and you’ve earned this.
4. Get the Girl to Follow Me Through the Front Door. Death of Judgment
She’s sold. I told you I’d be successful. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. This was actually quite easy! I didn’t even break a sweat. She’s following me through the door of sin, to a place that only ends in death and destruction of her character, her soul, her heart, and the life she once led. I know she’s following me because she has no idea what long-term affects lie behind this door. She is so blinded by the short-term pleasure and ease derived from this decision that it is impossible for her to see the end result.
For if she saw the end, she would run away screaming. It’s my trick of mirrors. I make sure she never sees what is really there, and only sees what really isn’t there. I tell her what she needs to hear, surround her with people who validate her sin, point her in the direction that would hide the truth, and cover her with shame and guilt and fear assuring she will never leave. How could she leave, when she knows she is doomed.
There is always the possibility that she will wake up when she hits rock bottom, is discovered, or has lost some things or some ones in her life that matter more than this sin. But my job is not to keep her in sin…it’s just to get her in the front door.
How exhausting is that? Makes me want to walk on the straight and narrow for the rest of my life. Yowza!!
As a forewarning, if you were able to walk away from Folly anywhere between Steps 1 through 4, the next time you are faced with her, you will be more likely to stop again and continue with the process. Rest assured, she will be there. When you least expect it, when you are at your weakest, when you are at your lowest, she will be there. Maybe it’s a whisper in your ear, a temptation that pops up, a tiny argument within your soul, it is there.
For many of us, it may be how we spend (or waste) our time…or money (for the most part our hubby’s hard-earned money)…or what we intake (TV, movies, conversations, internet)…or what we output (gossip, hurtful words, lack of affection or sex). This may not be an extra-marital affair, addiction to pain killers or alcohol, or an addiction to internet relationships, but we have our stuff, don’t we? And that stuff can be just as harmful to our relationships with others, with ourselves, and with our God as any “big” thing. For anything that becomes more important than the wisdom we hold in our hearts from the Lord, has the potential to destroy us.
You know, as we may come upon Folly, the Lord is watching us walk down that street and all He wants is us to run to Him, retreat in His protection and love, and be victorious over the pitfalls in our way. He is ready to rescue us at any point between Folly and sin…and even when we are deep in sin. For we serve a forgiving, merciful God who loves us more than we deserve. It is humbling and awesome in every sense of the word. For He is great.
So, my friends, be diligent for your own hearts and in guiding the hearts of your children. Be prayerful, mindful, and wisdom-ful for yourselves. And get on your knees for your hubbies, praying the Holy Spirit would be present, moving, and guiding in their hearts and lives.
Sorry for my tardiness. I know you are gracious to me…much more than I am with myself. I love each of you and am so blessed by you.
Love! R
Well, it started by pulling an all-nighter to get a bunch of tasks checked off my list. Crazy? Maybe. Productive? Totally. And Makena was sick this whole week and home with me...that shot any free time I actually thought I had. Not that I'm a helicopter parent hovering over her in every moment, but because just when my concentration kicks in, she asks for water, wants to watch a movie, changes into shorts and a t-shirt (and then I have to explain its 68 degrees in our house, change back into pants and a long-sleeved shirt), and on and on the cycle goes. Wednesday we set up a wireless network in our home (YEAH!) and our internet and computers were out-of-commission for a good 5 hours (that totally cramps my style!!). And well, Thursday, I kept both kids home just for a fun day (but don't tell them that...they think it was because they both have raspy voices!!). Wah-la.
Friday, February 12th...6:28am. Proverbs 9!
13 The woman named Folly is brash.
She is ignorant and doesn't know it.
14 She sits in her doorway
on the heights overlooking the city.
15 She calls out to men going by
who are minding their own business.
16 "Come in with me," she urges the simple.
To those who lack good judgment, she says,
17 "Stolen water is refreshing;
food eaten in secret tastes the best!"
18 But little do they know that the dead are there.
Her guests are in the depths of the grave.
Oh, Folly...let's just call her Dolly for the sake of this email. I always like naming personalities, not that I'm schizophrenic, but because it brings her character to life!
So, Dolly's just chillin' on her front stoop. You know these kind of girls (maybe you don't, but pretend you do!). She's loud, brash, bordering on obnoxious. She draws attention to herself by laughing with a cackle, fake screaming when someone pranks her, and being silly with those who will actually sit with them. You know she's a little emotionally unstable for some valid reason, but if you asked her, she would have no idea. This is simply who she is.
Did you notice that Dolly has nothing better to do? She has no family, nobody around her to ask her what she's doing with her life. Instead she lives in the moment. She's idle...and you know what they say about idle hands. She has no daily, even hourly purpose, so she just hangs. Hangs and waits for anything or anyone to happen to her.
If situations don't just fall into her lap, she'll create them. Hollering down the block at those walking “minding their own business” (v15), flirting, taunting, luring, and genuinely being undiscerning about whom she attracts. She doesn't care about what kind of person falls into her trance, because it's not about them. It's about her: what attention she's getting, what validation she's receiving, because her worth is proven when a person falls into sin…she has sold their soul. That is her sole purpose.
But Folly is just not after our men…for Folly is after us.
Folly is the “gateway drug” for any sin. It’s the foolish flirtation with temptation that easily and eventually leads to sin. It’s the entertaining of the sin in your mind and heart. And if you play with fire long enough, eventually you will get burned.
Most people don’t realize that Folly is where sin begins. They don’t understand the sin they’ve fallen into was the result of a process that began long before the actual sin. Have you ever heard broken people say, “I don’t know how I got here”? Have you even heard parents say, “I had no idea my child was this far lost”? Have you ever asked those questions of yourself? I know I have! Usually in the moments of complete despair of how much I have ruined my own life.
In search of wisdom, let’s spend the next couple minutes dissecting Folly’s allure and how she uses our own sinful nature against us. Once we look carefully at Folly, we can be more vigilant for ourselves and for our little ones.
[**Sidenote: Notice I do not include our hubbies in that list…for we are not their Holy Spirit. As my Bible study leader says, “God does not have an opening for that position. It is adequately filled by the Holy Spirit.” Love that! We can be vigilant in preventative measures…doing what we are called to do as wives, lovers, friends, help mates, encouragers. But if our hubby falls, we must stop the finger pointing, the shaming, the guilt tripping, and instead need to get down on our knees and pray, pray, pray that our man’s heart becomes more and more sensitive to the wisdom He calls him to live by.
I know for me, when I start becoming Cliff’s Holy Spirit (or mother), I lose sight of the respect I am to have for my hubby and as a result, submission goes flying out the window. I then am haughty and arrogant, easily annoyed, and angered, because I have called the shots and he has not listened to me. How dare he? And soon my marriage has flipped totally upside down and I am the one at fault. This happens all the time to me! Ugh! I am in a constant stage of learning!]
Whether we want it or not, Folly is there. She waits for us. Sometimes she’s not as blatant as sitting along the path we’re on, but she’s there. For our health, it is best for us to see her, to be aware of her, and to understand the danger she poses. That doesn’t mean we interact with her, but we must at least acknowledge her presence. When our eyes are blind to our surroundings, this is when we can easily fall prey to things out there.
It’s like all the warnings we women receive when walking across a parking lot at night by ourselves to ward off a possible attack: walk with confidence and power, look like we know where we’re going and nothing’s going to stop us from getting there, be totally aware of our surroundings constantly scanning our surroundings without being distracted, stay in the lit and populated areas, and have our keys laced between our fingers. It is these tools we can have when looking at the danger that may be lurking (or not) around in the darkness.
Like the potential attackers, Folly waits for the simple…those lacking good judgment. When you are unprepared, you are forced to be on the defense instead of offense, which means immediately you are at a disadvantage. To save our lives, we must be proactive, not reactive. When we are reactionary, problems will overtake our good judgment. We are all “simple” at one point or another (v16).
Folly’s Plan of Attack (Spoken from Folly’s point-of-view):
1. Get the Person to Stop at My Stoop: Questioning Judgment
She stopped. She saw me and stopped. Most people avoid me and walk right on by. But not her. I know she stopped because something in her is interested in what I can offer. She thinks stopping is harmless, but I know that unless she has an amazing will-power, this is her fatal mistake. I’ll have to entice her a little more, encourage her to come up the steps, but I know that if they stop I can sell them a whole bunch of lies that the majority believed. She has opened her heart and mind up to the possibilities I can offer her on the surface. I know I can do this.
2. Say Enough to Get the Girl To Walk Up the Steps to Get a Closer Look. Dulling Judgment
She comes up for a closer look. From afar, I look interesting, harmless, even beautiful. The grass at the top of the stoop is much better than the grass at the bottom, or so she thinks. I know the conversation she’s having with herself…she’s trying to convince herself that this is no big deal. She’s not looking for the sin I know is hiding behind my front door, or even TO sin, but she “just” wants to know more. This is where the saying “curiosity killed the cat” comes from.
At this point, her judgment is dulling. The girl justified walking up the steps believing she still has the wits and the wisdom to retreat. She may think that she’s looking for reasons to go, but she’s really looking for reasons to stay. Most are unaware this is happening in their hearts, but this is why she was drawn to me in the first place. She may be scared of me, but she’ll find a way to squelch it. Once she’s creeping towards me, I know I have her. I have her heart and soul. It belongs to me…and more importantly, it belongs to my master. She may not know it, but I do. I’ve seen this happen time and time again. This is what I’m good at.
3. Get The Girl to Engage in a Conversation with Me. Lacking Judgment
I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos. I can sell a car to someone who already has five. I can convince you using the best techniques the world has to offer. In this conversation, I will tell her everything she needs to be reassured of to continue on. I use guilt, regret, remorse, pride, arrogance, anger, pity, sympathy, despair, dares, insults, compliments, lies, crazy-making…and I’m good. I always get my girl. Always.
Before she knows it, she’ll be agreeing with me, compromising her values for me, and soon she’ll even forget who she is. I will have her all mixed-up and confused.
I know she’s mine because she’s lost all judgment. Everything she knew was right is now wrong. Her world has turned upside down…and I did that to her. She’ll never win against me. She won’t leave unscathed. I have her smack down in the palm of my hand, and I will deliver her through those doors behind me. Again, this is my job.
Four Lies I may Tell You to Lose Your Wits:
1. “It’s not a big deal.” I can’t believe your questioning this because it’s not that big of a deal. PUHHHH-LEEEASE, girl! This is nothing compared to the evil in the world. Besides you’re not doing anything wrong.
2. “You’ll love it.” You’ll have fun, enjoy every moment, feel like you’re living on the edge, and be someone totally different that you are right now. Besides, the pain only comes after you are caught, which I’ll never tell you because I’m Folly. It’s all about enjoying the moment.
3. “Everyone does it.” If everyone does it, how bad can it be? Seriously. My job is to minimize the gravity of your ultimate decision.
4. “You are special.” You deserve this. You can handle this. You can walk away any time. But this is better than your normal life. You have suffered enough. You have put up with enough. You are worth more than all this, and you’ve earned this.
4. Get the Girl to Follow Me Through the Front Door. Death of Judgment
She’s sold. I told you I’d be successful. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. This was actually quite easy! I didn’t even break a sweat. She’s following me through the door of sin, to a place that only ends in death and destruction of her character, her soul, her heart, and the life she once led. I know she’s following me because she has no idea what long-term affects lie behind this door. She is so blinded by the short-term pleasure and ease derived from this decision that it is impossible for her to see the end result.
For if she saw the end, she would run away screaming. It’s my trick of mirrors. I make sure she never sees what is really there, and only sees what really isn’t there. I tell her what she needs to hear, surround her with people who validate her sin, point her in the direction that would hide the truth, and cover her with shame and guilt and fear assuring she will never leave. How could she leave, when she knows she is doomed.
There is always the possibility that she will wake up when she hits rock bottom, is discovered, or has lost some things or some ones in her life that matter more than this sin. But my job is not to keep her in sin…it’s just to get her in the front door.
How exhausting is that? Makes me want to walk on the straight and narrow for the rest of my life. Yowza!!
As a forewarning, if you were able to walk away from Folly anywhere between Steps 1 through 4, the next time you are faced with her, you will be more likely to stop again and continue with the process. Rest assured, she will be there. When you least expect it, when you are at your weakest, when you are at your lowest, she will be there. Maybe it’s a whisper in your ear, a temptation that pops up, a tiny argument within your soul, it is there.
For many of us, it may be how we spend (or waste) our time…or money (for the most part our hubby’s hard-earned money)…or what we intake (TV, movies, conversations, internet)…or what we output (gossip, hurtful words, lack of affection or sex). This may not be an extra-marital affair, addiction to pain killers or alcohol, or an addiction to internet relationships, but we have our stuff, don’t we? And that stuff can be just as harmful to our relationships with others, with ourselves, and with our God as any “big” thing. For anything that becomes more important than the wisdom we hold in our hearts from the Lord, has the potential to destroy us.
You know, as we may come upon Folly, the Lord is watching us walk down that street and all He wants is us to run to Him, retreat in His protection and love, and be victorious over the pitfalls in our way. He is ready to rescue us at any point between Folly and sin…and even when we are deep in sin. For we serve a forgiving, merciful God who loves us more than we deserve. It is humbling and awesome in every sense of the word. For He is great.
So, my friends, be diligent for your own hearts and in guiding the hearts of your children. Be prayerful, mindful, and wisdom-ful for yourselves. And get on your knees for your hubbies, praying the Holy Spirit would be present, moving, and guiding in their hearts and lives.
Sorry for my tardiness. I know you are gracious to me…much more than I am with myself. I love each of you and am so blessed by you.
Love! R
Monday, February 8, 2010
Put Down the Legos
Hey Girlies!!
GOOOOOOD MORNING, MONDAY! Good morning, week...good morning, schedule...good morning, routine...good morning, faith, hope, and love...good morning, peace that passes all understanding...and good morning, wisdom.
Ohhhh, good morning WISDOM!
After a weekend of family craziness, do you ever crave wisdom for the week? For a steady and rational view of life and all it entails, so you can live as drama free as possible? Me too!
Let me tell you, it's totally that time of month. I know that may be too much information, but we've all been there...you know, when wisdom definitely ISN'T there! Normally, my emotions race through my mind at a gazillion miles a minute like the Polar Express racing down the mountain into the gulch. I'm the conductor who's lost the pin that is necessary to make the train stop. Instead I become victim to all the wild "truths" that race through my mind, and lack the brakes of wisdom to filter them out. "He didn't help me with the kids, I'm outta here," "My son told me to leave his room, I'm going to take every toy out of it," "I hate laundry...for that matter, I hate my thighs, the zits on my face, and the fact that every 4 hours I have to think about what to cook." And on and on it goes. It's almost as if I'm possessed. Seriously!
As a result, picture my poor hubby and 2 kids hanging on the front grill of the train, praying they make it out alive, uninjured, and emotionally unscathed, as I inadvertently drive this train to a destination not originally on the iterinary. (And it's NOT going to the North Pole!!)
Most of the time I do find the brake pin to stop the train just before we reach emotional destruction; but there have been those months that I actually rehearse those "truths" in my head so much that when I'm done riding the hormonal Polar Express I ACTUALLY still harbor those emotions and refuse to get off the train. That makes sense, right? HAA! Wrong!
Last week, I warned Cliff that I might be emotionally unstable in the upcoming week. He looked at me like I was crazy, but nodded his head. I think I was hoping that WHEN crazy hit my brain, my warning would almost give me a free pass for acting out my craziness.
But this month it didn't happen. I didn't need to use my "free" (not really "free", huh?) pass because my brain was so focused on controlling the thoughts going through my head in the first place, that the words just didn't happen. I know! Shut UP! One small victory in the journey of life!
Now, I was not perfect...but I made sure that if I felt the craziness surface, I went in another room, talked under my breath, rolled my eyes at the wall, and then got over it! Shocking, huh??
Sometimes we become victims to our own emotions...and even our own hormones, don't we? We forget to filter them through the reality in front of us. What we feel is, most of the time, NOT reality. I think, as women, we've given too much credence to our emotions and treated them as if they were the truth...and facts, perception, perspective don't matter. As long as we FEEL it, then it MUST be true.
So, let's tackle Wisdom in Proverbs 8:1-4:
1 Listen as Wisdom calls out!
Hear as understanding raises her voice!
2 On the hilltop along the road,
she takes her stand at the crossroads.
3 By the gates at the entrance to the town,
on the road leading in, she cries aloud,
4 "I call to you, to all of you!
I raise my voice to all people.
I couldn't whittle this down to one verse, because collectively it is beautiful. A beautiful calling to our minds and our lives to discover Wisdom and all she has to offer.
I love that I see Wisdom at the beginning as a mom standing in the kitchen yelling down the hall, "Are you listening? I have good things to tell you! If you don't listen, then you are going to suffer the consequences." How many times do we ask, preach, yell this to our kids as moms?
My favorite question to ask Keegan (which I know I will never get an answer to) is, "What did I just say?" Because his blank look says it all: "I have no idea what you said because I was so concerned with my legos that I didn't EVEN know you were talking, let along talking to me." Then as his gentle mother, I grunt my frustration, launch into a mini-lecture on how a 6-year-old boy must have focus and attention, walk away shaking my head in total dismay knowing full well that this conversation will happen over and over again as if I'm beating my head against a wall.
But when we use that example on our own hearts, how many of us actually hear Wisdom talking, let alone actually talking to US? How many of us are so consumed with our emotions, our circumstances, difficult people, or life's drama to actually pause, hear Wisdom, redirect our course of action, and discover the Lord's path for our hour, day, year, life?
Or are you too busying playing with your "legos"?
Proverbs 8:5-9
5 How naive you are! Let me give you common sense.
O foolish ones, let me give you understanding.
6 Listen to me! For I have excellent things to tell you.
Everything I say is right,
7 for I speak the truth
and hate every kind of deception.
8 My advice is wholesome and good.
There is nothing crooked or twisted in it.
9 My words are plain to anyone with understanding,
clear to those who want to learn.
These verses hit my heart with the "duh" thud.
Wisdom is excellent. Wisdom is good. Wisdom is understanding (not just of myself, but of everything around me). Wisdom is right. Wisdom is truth. Wisdom is wholesome. Wisdom is common sense. Wisdom is plain (how's that for revolutionary??). Wisdom is available to ALL who want to learn. Wisdom is God.
If this is His truth, then why is it so difficult for my mind to let go of MY wisdom, and embrace His wisdom? Do I really see myself as an equal with God? Do I really see myself as capable enough to figure it all out on my own? Do I really see myself infallible and right in all circumstances, conversations, complications?
Oh, mamas...do we have a reality check coming!! Maybe the answers to those questions are the root of why we are so unwise!
For here is the result when we actually do heed to Wisdom:
James 3:13-18
13 If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
Today, my friends, just today...let's put down our legos, get off the hormonal Polar Express, find the brake pin for our mouths, hear Wisdom and, further, heed Wisdom, and love peace, be gentle, practice mercy, and good deeds.
What would the world look like if we actually did this? Pretty beautiful, I would imagine!
Lots of love! Praying for you!!
Rebecca
GOOOOOOD MORNING, MONDAY! Good morning, week...good morning, schedule...good morning, routine...good morning, faith, hope, and love...good morning, peace that passes all understanding...and good morning, wisdom.
Ohhhh, good morning WISDOM!
After a weekend of family craziness, do you ever crave wisdom for the week? For a steady and rational view of life and all it entails, so you can live as drama free as possible? Me too!
Let me tell you, it's totally that time of month. I know that may be too much information, but we've all been there...you know, when wisdom definitely ISN'T there! Normally, my emotions race through my mind at a gazillion miles a minute like the Polar Express racing down the mountain into the gulch. I'm the conductor who's lost the pin that is necessary to make the train stop. Instead I become victim to all the wild "truths" that race through my mind, and lack the brakes of wisdom to filter them out. "He didn't help me with the kids, I'm outta here," "My son told me to leave his room, I'm going to take every toy out of it," "I hate laundry...for that matter, I hate my thighs, the zits on my face, and the fact that every 4 hours I have to think about what to cook." And on and on it goes. It's almost as if I'm possessed. Seriously!
As a result, picture my poor hubby and 2 kids hanging on the front grill of the train, praying they make it out alive, uninjured, and emotionally unscathed, as I inadvertently drive this train to a destination not originally on the iterinary. (And it's NOT going to the North Pole!!)
Most of the time I do find the brake pin to stop the train just before we reach emotional destruction; but there have been those months that I actually rehearse those "truths" in my head so much that when I'm done riding the hormonal Polar Express I ACTUALLY still harbor those emotions and refuse to get off the train. That makes sense, right? HAA! Wrong!
Last week, I warned Cliff that I might be emotionally unstable in the upcoming week. He looked at me like I was crazy, but nodded his head. I think I was hoping that WHEN crazy hit my brain, my warning would almost give me a free pass for acting out my craziness.
But this month it didn't happen. I didn't need to use my "free" (not really "free", huh?) pass because my brain was so focused on controlling the thoughts going through my head in the first place, that the words just didn't happen. I know! Shut UP! One small victory in the journey of life!
Now, I was not perfect...but I made sure that if I felt the craziness surface, I went in another room, talked under my breath, rolled my eyes at the wall, and then got over it! Shocking, huh??
Sometimes we become victims to our own emotions...and even our own hormones, don't we? We forget to filter them through the reality in front of us. What we feel is, most of the time, NOT reality. I think, as women, we've given too much credence to our emotions and treated them as if they were the truth...and facts, perception, perspective don't matter. As long as we FEEL it, then it MUST be true.
So, let's tackle Wisdom in Proverbs 8:1-4:
1 Listen as Wisdom calls out!
Hear as understanding raises her voice!
2 On the hilltop along the road,
she takes her stand at the crossroads.
3 By the gates at the entrance to the town,
on the road leading in, she cries aloud,
4 "I call to you, to all of you!
I raise my voice to all people.
I couldn't whittle this down to one verse, because collectively it is beautiful. A beautiful calling to our minds and our lives to discover Wisdom and all she has to offer.
I love that I see Wisdom at the beginning as a mom standing in the kitchen yelling down the hall, "Are you listening? I have good things to tell you! If you don't listen, then you are going to suffer the consequences." How many times do we ask, preach, yell this to our kids as moms?
My favorite question to ask Keegan (which I know I will never get an answer to) is, "What did I just say?" Because his blank look says it all: "I have no idea what you said because I was so concerned with my legos that I didn't EVEN know you were talking, let along talking to me." Then as his gentle mother, I grunt my frustration, launch into a mini-lecture on how a 6-year-old boy must have focus and attention, walk away shaking my head in total dismay knowing full well that this conversation will happen over and over again as if I'm beating my head against a wall.
But when we use that example on our own hearts, how many of us actually hear Wisdom talking, let alone actually talking to US? How many of us are so consumed with our emotions, our circumstances, difficult people, or life's drama to actually pause, hear Wisdom, redirect our course of action, and discover the Lord's path for our hour, day, year, life?
Or are you too busying playing with your "legos"?
Proverbs 8:5-9
5 How naive you are! Let me give you common sense.
O foolish ones, let me give you understanding.
6 Listen to me! For I have excellent things to tell you.
Everything I say is right,
7 for I speak the truth
and hate every kind of deception.
8 My advice is wholesome and good.
There is nothing crooked or twisted in it.
9 My words are plain to anyone with understanding,
clear to those who want to learn.
These verses hit my heart with the "duh" thud.
Wisdom is excellent. Wisdom is good. Wisdom is understanding (not just of myself, but of everything around me). Wisdom is right. Wisdom is truth. Wisdom is wholesome. Wisdom is common sense. Wisdom is plain (how's that for revolutionary??). Wisdom is available to ALL who want to learn. Wisdom is God.
If this is His truth, then why is it so difficult for my mind to let go of MY wisdom, and embrace His wisdom? Do I really see myself as an equal with God? Do I really see myself as capable enough to figure it all out on my own? Do I really see myself infallible and right in all circumstances, conversations, complications?
Oh, mamas...do we have a reality check coming!! Maybe the answers to those questions are the root of why we are so unwise!
For here is the result when we actually do heed to Wisdom:
James 3:13-18
13 If you are wise and understand God's ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. 14 But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the truth with boasting and lying. 15 For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. 16 For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
Today, my friends, just today...let's put down our legos, get off the hormonal Polar Express, find the brake pin for our mouths, hear Wisdom and, further, heed Wisdom, and love peace, be gentle, practice mercy, and good deeds.
What would the world look like if we actually did this? Pretty beautiful, I would imagine!
Lots of love! Praying for you!!
Rebecca
Friday, February 5, 2010
Leaving the Path
Amen! It's Friday evening, and all's well!
Well, that is besides my baby girl coughing continually and sporting a fever. These are always the moments when you wish you could take the fever and cough upon yourself only to see your child bounce back! I'm sure Cliff would NOT want that, for a mommy out-of-commission is always harder on the spouse. But that's what mommys' hearts do: wish to spare their little ones from any pain or suffering when it comes to their health.
As you get to know me through these emails, you will always notice that I call my 6 and 4 year olds my "little ones" or my "babies." And when they are 10 and 12, much to their chagrin, I will most likely still call them my "babies."
There is something tender about seeing your not-so-babies still as your babies. It makes a verbal connection between that little one in utero and all the dreams you had for them, and the dirty, lanky, ready-to-lose-his-front-to-teeth, freckled covered kid standing in front of you! Personally, I need that connection! I tend to have short long-term memory! I remember the now, and maybe even the recent, but 6 years ago is a much more dim.
So, tonight, as you gather your family from the frantic pace of the week, hug your babies. Whether they're 29, 14, 10, 4, or 5 months. Hug them, cuddle them, and let them know you love them no matter what. Unconditionally love them, so that they will understand the love He has for them. A love that would take a cold away if it could; a love that would follow them to the ends of the earth to save them from themselves; a love that would allow them to experience consequences so they know better next time; a love that would grow them into the human beings He created them to be; and a love that ultimately is an example of His love for them.
Proverbs 5
3 For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
and her mouth is smoother than oil.
4 But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.s
6 For she cares nothing about the path to life.
She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it.
I really want to focus on v. 6, but you can't read verse 6 without the other 3 preceeding iprecedinge're back to the immoral woman (yes, it's been a month!!), but I wanted to look at her from a different perspective than we did last month.
Yesterday, we talked about the path of righteous shining like "the first gleam of dawn" in Proverbs 4:18. Yet here we are today talking about a woman of a complete opposite persuasion, one that we'd classify as a general fool:
"For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it."
What visuals does this create in your mind? How do you picture her? And what kind of feelings do you have towards her?
For me, she's a lost soul. She has no idea what she's missing in the depths of her soul, so she tries to fill the voids with men, alcohol (hence the staggering), cheap thrills, and bad high heels! I see her walking the streets looking for her next trick throwing random compliments out at the ugliest of men just hoping for someone to notice her. And I see her lonely, filling her time with strangers who don't know her...but only know her in the "biblical sense." How ironic is that?
But she has lived this life for so long, she has forgotten what the purpose of her existence is, "for she cares nothing about the path to life." Maybe she's on a suicide mission, just slowly. Maybe she's trying to numb the soul that begs to be searched. Maybe she's getting "love" (which we know is NOT love) the only way she knows. Maybe she has become so jaded, so hurt, so unloved, that her bitterness has not only consumed her, but has turned her into a predator who tempts and consumes others on the road to moral and spiritual destruction.
Maybe I should stop watching TV! This is pretty vivid!
So, what does this have to do with me and you?
I think there are times when we stray from His path of righteousness, in areas where we each personally struggle. Whether it's your thoughts, your words, your anger, your jealousy, your self-esteem, your need to be in control, your past, your relationships, your sin, whatever it may be, leaving the well-worn path of the Lord and following the "crooked trail" always looks the same:
-Rugged: It is always rocky, overgrown, filled sharp points with hidden dangers. There is no way to predict what will happen, or proceed with certainty and assurance that you will survive this. You may have faith in your own skills, but in the end, it will not be enough.
-Steep: It doesn't always start steep. It may just seem like an easier way down than following the obvious path. But as soon as you navigate it yourself, you will realize the degree of decline drops drastically and is dangerously slippery. What you once thought you could handle, you now realize is sucking you down like gravity.
-Overgrown: You may think you can make your way through the forest. But as you continue deeper into it away from the beaten path, the forest grows thicker and thicker, almost suffocating. You will end up disoriented, lost, and without guidance.
-Unexpected: Once you think you know what's up ahead, you will find that the reality can be even worse than what you expected. You thought your skills, knowledge, and forest cutting know-how would get you through, but too many variables are now being thrown at you...a steep ravine, a rushing river, poison ivy, a rain storm, a bear. You name it, it can happen. For you have left yourself open to the dangers of the wild.
-Uncharted: No other person has walked this trail...and those who have never returned. You are alone. You are lonely. There is nobody to help you through the dangers, and eventually your brain will convince you that what you are seeing is not the truth. All of a sudden right becomes wrong, and wrong becomes right, all to justify the decisions you are having to make.
And as we wander off His path, we have to convince ourselves that leaving His way is better, easier, quicker, more self-serving, more beneficial, less harmful, causing less conflict than pursuing truth. We may use the following excuses to make our decisions justifiable:
1. Survival: "I had to" in order to preserve myself: my own being, health, pride, worth, reputation, arrogance, perceived integrity, etc.
2. Victim: I had no other choice, I was forced by someone else.
3. Revenge: I had to fight back and make my own way.
4. Peer Pressure: I lack self-awareness and conviction. Others are doing it, so I did it. Others are suffering from it, so am I.
5. Rebellion: I know what is right, but I turned my back because I no longer cared.
6. Foolish: Grass is greener on the other path...until you get to that path and realize you have been fooled.
Ladies...these excuses can apply to anyone struggling with choosing the Lord's path. Look at your children. Look at your friends. Look at your extended families. Look at your hubby. But most of all, look at yourselves. That crooked trail is not very far from any of us. The immoral woman who blatently walks it could easily be any of us, staring with the dimness in our hearts, then manifesting in our words and actions, in a quick instance if we turn our back on Him.
Fortunately, for us, that love that we have for our children, that love that will take the place of them when they're feverish, is the love the Lord has for us, but even greater. His love will rescue us when we're clutching a rock by the tips of our fingers staring down at a rocky ravine below with no one else to save us. When we get ourselves in that predicament on our own, He WILL still seek and save us...
My precious friends, love those around you! Choose His path. Turn your back on the crooked trail. And receive His love!
Have an amazing weekend!
Well, that is besides my baby girl coughing continually and sporting a fever. These are always the moments when you wish you could take the fever and cough upon yourself only to see your child bounce back! I'm sure Cliff would NOT want that, for a mommy out-of-commission is always harder on the spouse. But that's what mommys' hearts do: wish to spare their little ones from any pain or suffering when it comes to their health.
As you get to know me through these emails, you will always notice that I call my 6 and 4 year olds my "little ones" or my "babies." And when they are 10 and 12, much to their chagrin, I will most likely still call them my "babies."
There is something tender about seeing your not-so-babies still as your babies. It makes a verbal connection between that little one in utero and all the dreams you had for them, and the dirty, lanky, ready-to-lose-his-front-to-teeth, freckled covered kid standing in front of you! Personally, I need that connection! I tend to have short long-term memory! I remember the now, and maybe even the recent, but 6 years ago is a much more dim.
So, tonight, as you gather your family from the frantic pace of the week, hug your babies. Whether they're 29, 14, 10, 4, or 5 months. Hug them, cuddle them, and let them know you love them no matter what. Unconditionally love them, so that they will understand the love He has for them. A love that would take a cold away if it could; a love that would follow them to the ends of the earth to save them from themselves; a love that would allow them to experience consequences so they know better next time; a love that would grow them into the human beings He created them to be; and a love that ultimately is an example of His love for them.
Proverbs 5
3 For the lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey,
and her mouth is smoother than oil.
4 But in the end she is as bitter as poison,
as dangerous as a double-edged sword.
5 Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.s
6 For she cares nothing about the path to life.
She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it.
I really want to focus on v. 6, but you can't read verse 6 without the other 3 preceeding iprecedinge're back to the immoral woman (yes, it's been a month!!), but I wanted to look at her from a different perspective than we did last month.
Yesterday, we talked about the path of righteous shining like "the first gleam of dawn" in Proverbs 4:18. Yet here we are today talking about a woman of a complete opposite persuasion, one that we'd classify as a general fool:
"For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn't realize it."
What visuals does this create in your mind? How do you picture her? And what kind of feelings do you have towards her?
For me, she's a lost soul. She has no idea what she's missing in the depths of her soul, so she tries to fill the voids with men, alcohol (hence the staggering), cheap thrills, and bad high heels! I see her walking the streets looking for her next trick throwing random compliments out at the ugliest of men just hoping for someone to notice her. And I see her lonely, filling her time with strangers who don't know her...but only know her in the "biblical sense." How ironic is that?
But she has lived this life for so long, she has forgotten what the purpose of her existence is, "for she cares nothing about the path to life." Maybe she's on a suicide mission, just slowly. Maybe she's trying to numb the soul that begs to be searched. Maybe she's getting "love" (which we know is NOT love) the only way she knows. Maybe she has become so jaded, so hurt, so unloved, that her bitterness has not only consumed her, but has turned her into a predator who tempts and consumes others on the road to moral and spiritual destruction.
Maybe I should stop watching TV! This is pretty vivid!
So, what does this have to do with me and you?
I think there are times when we stray from His path of righteousness, in areas where we each personally struggle. Whether it's your thoughts, your words, your anger, your jealousy, your self-esteem, your need to be in control, your past, your relationships, your sin, whatever it may be, leaving the well-worn path of the Lord and following the "crooked trail" always looks the same:
-Rugged: It is always rocky, overgrown, filled sharp points with hidden dangers. There is no way to predict what will happen, or proceed with certainty and assurance that you will survive this. You may have faith in your own skills, but in the end, it will not be enough.
-Steep: It doesn't always start steep. It may just seem like an easier way down than following the obvious path. But as soon as you navigate it yourself, you will realize the degree of decline drops drastically and is dangerously slippery. What you once thought you could handle, you now realize is sucking you down like gravity.
-Overgrown: You may think you can make your way through the forest. But as you continue deeper into it away from the beaten path, the forest grows thicker and thicker, almost suffocating. You will end up disoriented, lost, and without guidance.
-Unexpected: Once you think you know what's up ahead, you will find that the reality can be even worse than what you expected. You thought your skills, knowledge, and forest cutting know-how would get you through, but too many variables are now being thrown at you...a steep ravine, a rushing river, poison ivy, a rain storm, a bear. You name it, it can happen. For you have left yourself open to the dangers of the wild.
-Uncharted: No other person has walked this trail...and those who have never returned. You are alone. You are lonely. There is nobody to help you through the dangers, and eventually your brain will convince you that what you are seeing is not the truth. All of a sudden right becomes wrong, and wrong becomes right, all to justify the decisions you are having to make.
And as we wander off His path, we have to convince ourselves that leaving His way is better, easier, quicker, more self-serving, more beneficial, less harmful, causing less conflict than pursuing truth. We may use the following excuses to make our decisions justifiable:
1. Survival: "I had to" in order to preserve myself: my own being, health, pride, worth, reputation, arrogance, perceived integrity, etc.
2. Victim: I had no other choice, I was forced by someone else.
3. Revenge: I had to fight back and make my own way.
4. Peer Pressure: I lack self-awareness and conviction. Others are doing it, so I did it. Others are suffering from it, so am I.
5. Rebellion: I know what is right, but I turned my back because I no longer cared.
6. Foolish: Grass is greener on the other path...until you get to that path and realize you have been fooled.
Ladies...these excuses can apply to anyone struggling with choosing the Lord's path. Look at your children. Look at your friends. Look at your extended families. Look at your hubby. But most of all, look at yourselves. That crooked trail is not very far from any of us. The immoral woman who blatently walks it could easily be any of us, staring with the dimness in our hearts, then manifesting in our words and actions, in a quick instance if we turn our back on Him.
Fortunately, for us, that love that we have for our children, that love that will take the place of them when they're feverish, is the love the Lord has for us, but even greater. His love will rescue us when we're clutching a rock by the tips of our fingers staring down at a rocky ravine below with no one else to save us. When we get ourselves in that predicament on our own, He WILL still seek and save us...
My precious friends, love those around you! Choose His path. Turn your back on the crooked trail. And receive His love!
Have an amazing weekend!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Testing
Good Morning Mamas!!
It's 6:05am and let me just say it's been 4 weeks of early-morning rising for the Schaumloeffel parents! That's a huge victory and a New Year's resolution that I didn't biff! Now, to address the plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter that seems to lose a member at the most inopportune times: well, that resolution still needs work!! Self-control is definitely NOT one of my strong suits when it comes to CC Cookies!
Looking back a month, when you wrote our your goals for your year, how are you doing on them? Are you doing them? If so, what progress have you made? If not, what is getting in the way? (Email me personally if you want some accountability! I'd love to do that for you!)
As women of our homes, we should always have personal goals outside of motherhood and wife-dom (like "kingdom"...not wife-doom!!). It's what keeps our identity intact. What we do is NOT who we are. WHAT??? I know...wrap your brain around that one. My hubby is a medic; it's what he does; yesterday he put together a cameraman's finger that had been filleted by his camera in a shot (I know...I got chills too!); but what he does to provide for our family is NOT who he is.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in doing, that we forget our being. What have you done lately to stretch your brain or your heart? What have you tried that's new? What have you done to chase your interests?
NOW...do not hear me say, "Hey, you hate being a wife...so follow your dreams and leave;" or any other non-sense that would validate the darkness in your heart. (And when it's dark, don't we try and look for that validation to justify our behavior?? I know I do. And if I'm looking for it, then I'm very selective in choosing friends. Who wants to be friends with someone pushing you in the direction of light??)
But, I'm saying, if cooking interests you, try something different. If gardening is your thing, do it! If reading something new, challenging, interesting is your cup of tea, GREAT! If sewing purses, starting a playgroup, beginning a blog, redecorating your home on the cheap, learning more about child development, running 5 miles a day, floats your boat...don't leave those things behind!
Sometimes I think we convince ourselves that if we're going to be great wives and moms, we must forsake all that interests us. But we don't. We may have to get up early to do so. We may have to budget our time better. We may have to do something out of the ordinary. But ladies, you were created uniquely by a God who meant for you to be exactly who you are. Don't lose that passion for life around you...and imagine the impact of the world if He led you! For you may be some other mommy's light down the road.
Proverbs 4
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
Officially, the dawn has not happened yet. But have you ever watched the sun rise? Have you ever sat and watched the glorious FIRST beam pop over the mountains and how bright it seems compared to the general glow of the sun behind it?
Last week, Cliff was working up at Castaic Lake and had to be dropped off around 6:45am. Each morning, I drove home facing east and got to witness that beam's first appearance. And it was amazing!! The air was pristine, the mountains pronounced, the glow of the sun made everything look clean, and my heart was filled with the hope of a new day.
Now, let me share that my perspective has changed over the years. Formerly, I hated sunrise. I hated it because it meant I had to face the world, gather every ounce of warrior-woman in me, and face the unknown. I hated thinking about the energy I had to muster just to make it to dinner time, and I would look way too far in the future to make getting up look like a monumental task only for the strong and successful. (And I loved sunset because it meant I was DONE!!)
But He has changed my thinking...for every morning is new. The opportunities waiting to be snatch, the achievements (such as laundry, kids not fighting, devotions) waiting to be made, the conversations waiting to be talked, the life waiting to be LIVED is so thrilling to me!!
For this day is His...and in the light of Him, it is mine! Mine lived in the glory of the Lord...only for His glory in the end!
Girls, whatever you do today, see His light. See the path of righteousness stretched out before you as that first beam of light that pops over the mountain top in the freshness of the morning, as your call to be His servant, to honor who He has created you to be, and to be in the position He has place you in as the keeper of your home, mother of your children, lover of your hubby with gusto and glory.
For if you do this, you will be an imitator of Christ. For in 2 Samuel, David speaks of Jesus:
2 Samuel 23:3-4
The God of Israel spoke,
the Rock of Israel said to me:
‘When one rules over men in righteousness,
when he rules in the fear of God,
4 he is like the light of morning at sunrise
on a cloudless morning,
like the brightness after rain
that brings the grass from the earth.’
Be that light of a morning sunrise...the brightness after the rain...to your hubby, your kiddos, your home, your friends, and your heart. Find that excitement, that fresh newness that honors who He created you to be...
And most of all, my friends, LIVE!
Love!!!
R
It's 6:05am and let me just say it's been 4 weeks of early-morning rising for the Schaumloeffel parents! That's a huge victory and a New Year's resolution that I didn't biff! Now, to address the plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter that seems to lose a member at the most inopportune times: well, that resolution still needs work!! Self-control is definitely NOT one of my strong suits when it comes to CC Cookies!
Looking back a month, when you wrote our your goals for your year, how are you doing on them? Are you doing them? If so, what progress have you made? If not, what is getting in the way? (Email me personally if you want some accountability! I'd love to do that for you!)
As women of our homes, we should always have personal goals outside of motherhood and wife-dom (like "kingdom"...not wife-doom!!). It's what keeps our identity intact. What we do is NOT who we are. WHAT??? I know...wrap your brain around that one. My hubby is a medic; it's what he does; yesterday he put together a cameraman's finger that had been filleted by his camera in a shot (I know...I got chills too!); but what he does to provide for our family is NOT who he is.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in doing, that we forget our being. What have you done lately to stretch your brain or your heart? What have you tried that's new? What have you done to chase your interests?
NOW...do not hear me say, "Hey, you hate being a wife...so follow your dreams and leave;" or any other non-sense that would validate the darkness in your heart. (And when it's dark, don't we try and look for that validation to justify our behavior?? I know I do. And if I'm looking for it, then I'm very selective in choosing friends. Who wants to be friends with someone pushing you in the direction of light??)
But, I'm saying, if cooking interests you, try something different. If gardening is your thing, do it! If reading something new, challenging, interesting is your cup of tea, GREAT! If sewing purses, starting a playgroup, beginning a blog, redecorating your home on the cheap, learning more about child development, running 5 miles a day, floats your boat...don't leave those things behind!
Sometimes I think we convince ourselves that if we're going to be great wives and moms, we must forsake all that interests us. But we don't. We may have to get up early to do so. We may have to budget our time better. We may have to do something out of the ordinary. But ladies, you were created uniquely by a God who meant for you to be exactly who you are. Don't lose that passion for life around you...and imagine the impact of the world if He led you! For you may be some other mommy's light down the road.
Proverbs 4
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
Officially, the dawn has not happened yet. But have you ever watched the sun rise? Have you ever sat and watched the glorious FIRST beam pop over the mountains and how bright it seems compared to the general glow of the sun behind it?
Last week, Cliff was working up at Castaic Lake and had to be dropped off around 6:45am. Each morning, I drove home facing east and got to witness that beam's first appearance. And it was amazing!! The air was pristine, the mountains pronounced, the glow of the sun made everything look clean, and my heart was filled with the hope of a new day.
Now, let me share that my perspective has changed over the years. Formerly, I hated sunrise. I hated it because it meant I had to face the world, gather every ounce of warrior-woman in me, and face the unknown. I hated thinking about the energy I had to muster just to make it to dinner time, and I would look way too far in the future to make getting up look like a monumental task only for the strong and successful. (And I loved sunset because it meant I was DONE!!)
But He has changed my thinking...for every morning is new. The opportunities waiting to be snatch, the achievements (such as laundry, kids not fighting, devotions) waiting to be made, the conversations waiting to be talked, the life waiting to be LIVED is so thrilling to me!!
For this day is His...and in the light of Him, it is mine! Mine lived in the glory of the Lord...only for His glory in the end!
Girls, whatever you do today, see His light. See the path of righteousness stretched out before you as that first beam of light that pops over the mountain top in the freshness of the morning, as your call to be His servant, to honor who He has created you to be, and to be in the position He has place you in as the keeper of your home, mother of your children, lover of your hubby with gusto and glory.
For if you do this, you will be an imitator of Christ. For in 2 Samuel, David speaks of Jesus:
2 Samuel 23:3-4
The God of Israel spoke,
the Rock of Israel said to me:
‘When one rules over men in righteousness,
when he rules in the fear of God,
4 he is like the light of morning at sunrise
on a cloudless morning,
like the brightness after rain
that brings the grass from the earth.’
Be that light of a morning sunrise...the brightness after the rain...to your hubby, your kiddos, your home, your friends, and your heart. Find that excitement, that fresh newness that honors who He created you to be...
And most of all, my friends, LIVE!
Love!!!
R
Light of the Dawn
Good Morning Mamas!!
It's 6:05am and let me just say it's been 4 weeks of early-morning rising for the Schaumloeffel parents! That's a huge victory and a New Year's resolution that I didn't biff! Now, to address the plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter that seems to lose a member at the most inopportune times: well, that resolution still needs work!! Self-control is definitely NOT one of my strong suits when it comes to CC Cookies!
Looking back a month, when you wrote our your goals for your year, how are you doing on them? Are you doing them? If so, what progress have you made? If not, what is getting in the way? (Email me personally if you want some accountability! I'd love to do that for you!)
As women of our homes, we should always have personal goals outside of motherhood and wife-dom (like "kingdom"...not wife-doom!!). It's what keeps our identity intact. What we do is NOT who we are. WHAT??? I know...wrap your brain around that one. My hubby is a medic; it's what he does; yesterday he put together a cameraman's finger that had been filleted by his camera in a shot (I know...I got chills too!); but what he does to provide for our family is NOT who he is.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in doing, that we forget our being. What have you done lately to stretch your brain or your heart? What have you tried that's new? What have you done to chase your interests?
NOW...do not hear me say, "Hey, you hate being a wife...so follow your dreams and leave;" or any other non-sense that would validate the darkness in your heart. (And when it's dark, don't we try and look for that validation to justify our behavior?? I know I do. And if I'm looking for it, then I'm very selective in choosing friends. Who wants to be friends with someone pushing you in the direction of light??)
But, I'm saying, if cooking interests you, try something different. If gardening is your thing, do it! If reading something new, challenging, interesting is your cup of tea, GREAT! If sewing purses, starting a playgroup, beginning a blog, redecorating your home on the cheap, learning more about child development, running 5 miles a day, floats your boat...don't leave those things behind!
Sometimes I think we convince ourselves that if we're going to be great wives and moms, we must forsake all that interests us. But we don't. We may have to get up early to do so. We may have to budget our time better. We may have to do something out of the ordinary. But ladies, you were created uniquely by a God who meant for you to be exactly who you are. Don't lose that passion for life around you...and imagine the impact of the world if He led you! For you may be some other mommy's light down the road.
Proverbs 4
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
Officially, the dawn has not happened yet. But have you ever watched the sun rise? Have you ever sat and watched the glorious FIRST beam pop over the mountains and how bright it seems compared to the general glow of the sun behind it?
Last week, Cliff was working up at Castaic Lake and had to be dropped off around 6:45am. Each morning, I drove home facing east and got to witness that beam's first appearance. And it was amazing!! The air was pristine, the mountains pronounced, the glow of the sun made everything look clean, and my heart was filled with the hope of a new day.
Now, let me share that my perspective has changed over the years. Formerly, I hated sunrise. I hated it because it meant I had to face the world, gather every ounce of warrior-woman in me, and face the unknown. I hated thinking about the energy I had to muster just to make it to dinner time, and I would look way too far in the future to make getting up look like a monumental task only for the strong and successful. (And I loved sunset because it meant I was DONE!!)
But He has changed my thinking...for every morning is new. The opportunities waiting to be snatch, the achievements (such as laundry, kids not fighting, devotions) waiting to be made, the conversations waiting to be talked, the life waiting to be LIVED is so thrilling to me!!
For this day is His...and in the light of Him, it is mine! Mine lived in the glory of the Lord...only for His glory in the end!
Girls, whatever you do today, see His light. See the path of righteousness stretched out before you as that first beam of light that pops over the mountain top in the freshness of the morning, as your call to be His servant, to honor who He has created you to be, and to be in the position He has place you in as the keeper of your home, mother of your children, lover of your hubby with gusto and glory.
For if you do this, you will be an imitator of Christ. For in 2 Samuel, David speaks of Jesus:
2 Samuel 23:3-4
The God of Israel spoke,
the Rock of Israel said to me:
‘When one rules over men in righteousness,
when he rules in the fear of God,
4 he is like the light of morning at sunrise
on a cloudless morning,
like the brightness after rain
that brings the grass from the earth.’
Be that light of a morning sunrise...the brightness after the rain...to your hubby, your kiddos, your home, your friends, and your heart. Find that excitement, that fresh newness that honors who He created you to be...
And most of all, my friends, LIVE!
Love!!!
R
It's 6:05am and let me just say it's been 4 weeks of early-morning rising for the Schaumloeffel parents! That's a huge victory and a New Year's resolution that I didn't biff! Now, to address the plate of chocolate chip cookies on the counter that seems to lose a member at the most inopportune times: well, that resolution still needs work!! Self-control is definitely NOT one of my strong suits when it comes to CC Cookies!
Looking back a month, when you wrote our your goals for your year, how are you doing on them? Are you doing them? If so, what progress have you made? If not, what is getting in the way? (Email me personally if you want some accountability! I'd love to do that for you!)
As women of our homes, we should always have personal goals outside of motherhood and wife-dom (like "kingdom"...not wife-doom!!). It's what keeps our identity intact. What we do is NOT who we are. WHAT??? I know...wrap your brain around that one. My hubby is a medic; it's what he does; yesterday he put together a cameraman's finger that had been filleted by his camera in a shot (I know...I got chills too!); but what he does to provide for our family is NOT who he is.
Sometimes we get so wrapped up in doing, that we forget our being. What have you done lately to stretch your brain or your heart? What have you tried that's new? What have you done to chase your interests?
NOW...do not hear me say, "Hey, you hate being a wife...so follow your dreams and leave;" or any other non-sense that would validate the darkness in your heart. (And when it's dark, don't we try and look for that validation to justify our behavior?? I know I do. And if I'm looking for it, then I'm very selective in choosing friends. Who wants to be friends with someone pushing you in the direction of light??)
But, I'm saying, if cooking interests you, try something different. If gardening is your thing, do it! If reading something new, challenging, interesting is your cup of tea, GREAT! If sewing purses, starting a playgroup, beginning a blog, redecorating your home on the cheap, learning more about child development, running 5 miles a day, floats your boat...don't leave those things behind!
Sometimes I think we convince ourselves that if we're going to be great wives and moms, we must forsake all that interests us. But we don't. We may have to get up early to do so. We may have to budget our time better. We may have to do something out of the ordinary. But ladies, you were created uniquely by a God who meant for you to be exactly who you are. Don't lose that passion for life around you...and imagine the impact of the world if He led you! For you may be some other mommy's light down the road.
Proverbs 4
18 The path of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn,
shining ever brighter till the full light of day.
Officially, the dawn has not happened yet. But have you ever watched the sun rise? Have you ever sat and watched the glorious FIRST beam pop over the mountains and how bright it seems compared to the general glow of the sun behind it?
Last week, Cliff was working up at Castaic Lake and had to be dropped off around 6:45am. Each morning, I drove home facing east and got to witness that beam's first appearance. And it was amazing!! The air was pristine, the mountains pronounced, the glow of the sun made everything look clean, and my heart was filled with the hope of a new day.
Now, let me share that my perspective has changed over the years. Formerly, I hated sunrise. I hated it because it meant I had to face the world, gather every ounce of warrior-woman in me, and face the unknown. I hated thinking about the energy I had to muster just to make it to dinner time, and I would look way too far in the future to make getting up look like a monumental task only for the strong and successful. (And I loved sunset because it meant I was DONE!!)
But He has changed my thinking...for every morning is new. The opportunities waiting to be snatch, the achievements (such as laundry, kids not fighting, devotions) waiting to be made, the conversations waiting to be talked, the life waiting to be LIVED is so thrilling to me!!
For this day is His...and in the light of Him, it is mine! Mine lived in the glory of the Lord...only for His glory in the end!
Girls, whatever you do today, see His light. See the path of righteousness stretched out before you as that first beam of light that pops over the mountain top in the freshness of the morning, as your call to be His servant, to honor who He has created you to be, and to be in the position He has place you in as the keeper of your home, mother of your children, lover of your hubby with gusto and glory.
For if you do this, you will be an imitator of Christ. For in 2 Samuel, David speaks of Jesus:
2 Samuel 23:3-4
The God of Israel spoke,
the Rock of Israel said to me:
‘When one rules over men in righteousness,
when he rules in the fear of God,
4 he is like the light of morning at sunrise
on a cloudless morning,
like the brightness after rain
that brings the grass from the earth.’
Be that light of a morning sunrise...the brightness after the rain...to your hubby, your kiddos, your home, your friends, and your heart. Find that excitement, that fresh newness that honors who He created you to be...
And most of all, my friends, LIVE!
Love!!!
R
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Don't Worry, Be Happy
To my lovely lovely ladies...
Happy Wednesday!
I realized that I start many of these emails with "happy" something. Happy is a word that is so overused in the English language: "Happy Birthday", "Welcome to McDonald's. Do you want a Happy Meal?", "Fine. I'll do it. Are you happy now?"
Happy: 1 : favored by luck or fortune : fortunate (a happy coincidence) (omit 2)
3 a : enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment (is the happiest person I know) (a happy childhood) b : expressing, reflecting, or suggestive of happiness (a happy ending) c : glad, pleased (I'm happy to meet you) d : having or marked by an atmosphere of good fellowship : friendly (a happy office)
I do think happy is more than luck or fortune. For happiness comes from a place of inner joy, contentment, well-being. It is when we choose to look at life and the fulfillment of the Lord as the well which all joy and happiness springs up, despite the fact we may be traipsing through the desert. For my friends, we ARE happy in His presence, in His will, in His grace.
Today...BE happy. Let happiness define your heart, thoughts, words, actions. Try smiling when you don't want to. Say "hi" to three strangers while passing by in the grocery aisles. Hug your babies more than normal. Answer your hubby's request with a happy response.
For we have NOTHING here on earth that will strip us from the happiness that comes with knowing the 80 or so years on this planet will not even come close to the eternity we will spend in heavenly bliss. When you put it in that context, why spend one moment in the muck of our circumstances? Fix your eyes on Him, and He will never let you go.
Proverbs 3:
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
If you haven't read the entire 3rd Proverb, then do it now. You'll love it. You'll be encouraged. And your heart will be uplifted.
Looking at v. 5 and considering the "all" we talked about yesterday in Proverbs 29 in regards to a fool venting "all" her anger, but a wise woman standing quietly and holding it in...we now look at something we CAN give our all to.
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding.
What does that look like to you?
What does that require you to change?
What does that mean you have to let go of?
For me, I am challenged to live in the now.
God has blessed me today. So far, I woke up. My kids woke up. My hubby got to work safely. My hair worked. I had food to serve for breakfast. My car started and it had gas. My kids were laughing on the way to school. And so on.
We are compelled to take back that trust from the Lord when we start looking ahead in the future, aren't we? Isn't that when we lose our focus of Him? When the future looms so large in front of us, the answers aren't clear, the path is hidden, the "what ifs" are exhausting, we tend to take back that control from the Lord and try to figure it out on our own.
But ladies, that's not where He wants us. He doesn't want us in 2020, not even 2011, or even February 4th of 2010. He wants us present in TODAY. For every good thing we need, He will supply...for today.
And our worries, fears, anger, questions, frustrations, will do NOTHING to hurry God along. It won't change His course for our lives. It won't change His mind. It won't convince Him to take another path.
In fact, it might have the opposite effect. It will make His path harder as we drag our feet and throw our fits on the side of the road. (And yes, sometimes we are like toddlers demanding to have something go our way and refusing to see the wisdom in trusting our heavenly Father!)
We make our lives hard, don't we? We create chaos and doubt in our own minds, and we're nuts! At the very least, I am!
But reflect back on happiness...BEING happy. How can we possibly be happy when we're fighting God all the time? For we rob ourselves of His happiness, of His joy, because we are NOT living in the now.
So, today...take the road less traveled. Take the path that you would normal bypass. Choose to trust Him today, just for today, and He will prove you faithful.
And then tomorrow, we you wake up, trust Him again for that 24 hour period. Do this over and over again, until that trust overpowers your need for understanding, which is ultimately your need for control.
"Don't worry. Be happy." -Bobby McFerrin
Love you!
Happy Wednesday!
I realized that I start many of these emails with "happy" something. Happy is a word that is so overused in the English language: "Happy Birthday", "Welcome to McDonald's. Do you want a Happy Meal?", "Fine. I'll do it. Are you happy now?"
Happy: 1 : favored by luck or fortune : fortunate (a happy coincidence) (omit 2)
3 a : enjoying or characterized by well-being and contentment (is the happiest person I know) (a happy childhood) b : expressing, reflecting, or suggestive of happiness (a happy ending) c : glad, pleased (I'm happy to meet you) d : having or marked by an atmosphere of good fellowship : friendly (a happy office)
I do think happy is more than luck or fortune. For happiness comes from a place of inner joy, contentment, well-being. It is when we choose to look at life and the fulfillment of the Lord as the well which all joy and happiness springs up, despite the fact we may be traipsing through the desert. For my friends, we ARE happy in His presence, in His will, in His grace.
Today...BE happy. Let happiness define your heart, thoughts, words, actions. Try smiling when you don't want to. Say "hi" to three strangers while passing by in the grocery aisles. Hug your babies more than normal. Answer your hubby's request with a happy response.
For we have NOTHING here on earth that will strip us from the happiness that comes with knowing the 80 or so years on this planet will not even come close to the eternity we will spend in heavenly bliss. When you put it in that context, why spend one moment in the muck of our circumstances? Fix your eyes on Him, and He will never let you go.
Proverbs 3:
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
If you haven't read the entire 3rd Proverb, then do it now. You'll love it. You'll be encouraged. And your heart will be uplifted.
Looking at v. 5 and considering the "all" we talked about yesterday in Proverbs 29 in regards to a fool venting "all" her anger, but a wise woman standing quietly and holding it in...we now look at something we CAN give our all to.
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding.
What does that look like to you?
What does that require you to change?
What does that mean you have to let go of?
For me, I am challenged to live in the now.
God has blessed me today. So far, I woke up. My kids woke up. My hubby got to work safely. My hair worked. I had food to serve for breakfast. My car started and it had gas. My kids were laughing on the way to school. And so on.
We are compelled to take back that trust from the Lord when we start looking ahead in the future, aren't we? Isn't that when we lose our focus of Him? When the future looms so large in front of us, the answers aren't clear, the path is hidden, the "what ifs" are exhausting, we tend to take back that control from the Lord and try to figure it out on our own.
But ladies, that's not where He wants us. He doesn't want us in 2020, not even 2011, or even February 4th of 2010. He wants us present in TODAY. For every good thing we need, He will supply...for today.
And our worries, fears, anger, questions, frustrations, will do NOTHING to hurry God along. It won't change His course for our lives. It won't change His mind. It won't convince Him to take another path.
In fact, it might have the opposite effect. It will make His path harder as we drag our feet and throw our fits on the side of the road. (And yes, sometimes we are like toddlers demanding to have something go our way and refusing to see the wisdom in trusting our heavenly Father!)
We make our lives hard, don't we? We create chaos and doubt in our own minds, and we're nuts! At the very least, I am!
But reflect back on happiness...BEING happy. How can we possibly be happy when we're fighting God all the time? For we rob ourselves of His happiness, of His joy, because we are NOT living in the now.
So, today...take the road less traveled. Take the path that you would normal bypass. Choose to trust Him today, just for today, and He will prove you faithful.
And then tomorrow, we you wake up, trust Him again for that 24 hour period. Do this over and over again, until that trust overpowers your need for understanding, which is ultimately your need for control.
"Don't worry. Be happy." -Bobby McFerrin
Love you!
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